Where Is My Daughter? Late Deputy Governor's Mother Asks Fayemi

Tears flowed freely in Ekiti State on Sunday following the announcement of the death of the Deputy Governor, Mrs. Funmilayo Olayinka, who died at 52 on Saturday after a protracted battle with cancer.

The deputy governor’s parents, Chief Festus Famuagun, and his wife, Grace, were inconsolable when Governor Kayode Fayemi and his wife, Bisi, visited the bereaved family at Isato area of Ado Ekiti on Sunday.

The deceased’s mother, who is 80 years old, rhetorically asked the governor, “Kayode, where is Funmi? Kayode, where is your deputy?”

The governor, who was moved to tears by the question, intermittently removed his glasses to wipe tears from his face with his handkerchief. While the governor tried in vain to console the father, his wife also made attempts to console the mother but it was in vain.

Chairman of the Action Congress of Nigeria in Ekiti State, Chief Jide Awe, burst into tears during an interview with journalists at the residence of the deceased.

Awe, who had tried hard to fight tears, burst into tears as Olayinka was referred to as the late deputy governor. The ACN chairman described Olayinka as a pillar of support for the ACN and the government of the state.

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Posted in: latest news in Nigeria

See What The Bible Really Says About Oral S****x

Yesterday, it went viral that a Pastor of CLAM church, Wole Oladiyun warned that Oral S***x was not for Christians. Maybe he read my earlier blog post about Nigerian Men and Oral S***x, or maybe his wife did, and asked him for some, hehehe. The man sparked oh. 

In his words, "men and women sucking their private parts are equally damaging their glories. Demonic partners have done a lot of havoc through this act. Honestly, it is simply unhygienic and dirty."

Now, I don't understand the first part of his comment about oral s***x damaging people's glories, or demonic partners, maybe that is what he teaches in his church as doctrine and dogma.  If so, I can't really address it, I am not a pastor obviously, nor his church member. But the second part exposes that his bias and personal opinion is what is majorly driving his condemnation of oral s***x.

Can oral s***x be dirty and unhygienic? Yes. If a man or a woman is not clean and hygienic, or take good care of their genital health, there is a great likelihood they will be smelly, or harbor unwanted fauna and flora in that area. Indeed, cases have been reported of thrush and other mouth and throat infections that come from having oral s***x. The more s**xual partners the person has, and the more lax they are about keeping themselves healthy, the more likely this is that diseases may be passed.

However, the assumption is that married people are faithful to each other, or maybe I'm just hoping. Also, being married, you most times become automatically s***xually active and have to learn to take care of your genital health even more. You wash up regularly, have your check up for STIs, and always make sure you smell clean and fresh before you try to initiate oral s***x. If all these check out, and both man and woman are in the mood for some good loving, then let the fun begin!

So how does this affect Christians? Eya asked on her blog about the biblical basis of pastors who condemn oral s**x or about Christians allowing themselves to enjoy oral s***x, and this is what I have learned on the matter.

There are passages in Songs of Solomon that actually promote how couples can enjoy their s**xuality and different aspects of s***x. I think more Christians need to remove their bias against s***x and read the whole of SOS with new adult eyes. Usually garden and fruits are used to refer to female and male pr**v**te parts.

As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
(Song of Solomon 2:3 ESV)

a garden fountain, a well of living water,
and flowing streams from Lebanon.
Awake, O north wind,
and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden,
let its spices flow.
Let my beloved come to his garden,
and eat its choicest fruits.
(Song of Solomon 4:15-16 ESV)

With that said, the bible is just an instruction manual, for the believing Christian, our full direction comes from the Holy Spirit in us. If your conscience makes you uneasy, then it may not be for you. But be sure it is the spirit, sometimes, wrong things we learned in the world can distract us from hearing the spirit clearly. Like someone said, God is not an author of confusion. If your wife or your husband wants oral s***x, and you deny him or her, you are flouting the some bible instructions.

1 Corinthians 7:3-6 :
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a CONCESSION, not as a command.

At the end of the day, it is to each their own.

This is According to: Myne Whitman Writes

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Revolution Can't Happen Because Nigerians Are Too Scared; Says Gov Amaechi

Rivers State Governor and Chairman of Nigerian Governors' Forum, Rotimi Amaechi, has ruled out the possibility of having a violent revolution in the country because of the fear factor in many Nigerians.

“Yes, revolution can happen outside Nigeria. But here, I do not think so. Tell me what happened in Sudan, Libya, Zimbabwe and other countries that have not happened here. Our elasticity has no limit. You do not pray for electricity to be regular but you know that some Nigerians pray ‘God, let the light be stable today.’ 

We pray without working to solve our problems and we think God will do what we are supposed to do for us.”

Governor Amaechi stated this in Ekiti State on Saturday at the second Nigeria Symposium for Young and Emerging Leaders. He said many Nigerians had become used to suffering rather than pushing for a change.

According to him, Nigeria has experienced worse situations than what led to revolution in some other countries but fear will not allow them take necessary action.

Amaechi said he was sure that those who gathered to protest against the removal of oil subsidy in January 2012 would flee immediately the President drafted soldiers to the Freedom Park in Lagos and other states to quell the uprising, and so it happened.

Stressing that courage is very important to make any meaningful change in Nigeria, Governor Amaechi said anyone who truly wants to see change in Nigeria would never be afraid of guns.

I think he has spoken the truth. Do you agree with him that Nigerians are too scared?

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Describe This Romantic Boy With One Word

One Word Please!!!

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Karen Igho Celebrates Birthday At The Orphanage (PHOTOS)

According to Karen Igho, she really had fun with the kids at the Red Cross Orphanage as part of her activities to mark her birthday; The Night Party pictures come your way shortly.More pictures after the jump:

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Posted in: latest entertainment news in Nigeria

Made In Togo Juju

Advance Fee Fraud, popularly known as “419” in Nigeria, is not news to an average countryman. However, what many are unaware of is the deeper dimensions it has taken in some parts of the country. While the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) may have secured many convictions in recent past, more than 90 percent of these illegal transactions go undetected by the agency. The number “419” refers to the article of the Nigerian Criminal Code dealing with fraud – obtaining by false pretence.

According to Wikipedia, Nigeria ranks among the top three countries in the world noted for email scams. The top three nations are the United States, the United Kingdom, and Nigeria (in that order). Similarly, other nations known to have a high incidence of advance fee fraud include Côte d’Ivoire, Benin Republic, Togo, South Africa, the Netherlands and Spain. Names like Ade Bendel, Emmanuel Nwude, Maurice Ibekwe and several others still ring a bell in Nigeria whenever issues relating to 419 are being discussed.

Every state in Nigeria has its own fair share of the activities of fraudsters. Edo State, the Heartbeat of the Nation, is known for many things. The state prides itself of some of the best sportsmen, politicians, academics, business moguls and the rest. While this may be true, a crop of youngsters is giving the state a different identity. What started in the late 1980s as pastime of some school dropouts and incurably criminally minded young men, has today become an industry for the unemployed and underemployed teeming population in Edo State.

Origin of 419 in the state

In the case of Edo State, 419 scam dates back to the late 1980s. Some university graduates who couldn’t secure decent jobs or travel to Europe, as it was the fashion then, found solace in this illegal resort. During festive periods, this crop of scammers would storm their villages in a display of wealth and affluence. Free monies were distributed to villagers, and idle youths who ended up in the farm or engaged in other odds and ends in and around the village. Eventually, young graduates became apprentices to some of the big names in the business who made it through 419. In time, the bug spread.

Modern day 419 undertaking in Edo State took a worrisome dimension at the beginning of this millennium, when drug trafficking and prostitution in Europe became less lucrative. In the 1980s up until late 1990s, an average family in Edo State, particularly the Binis placed high premium on travelling to Europe. Lands, houses and other valuable jewellery were sold so that families could sponsor a ‘messiah’ to Europe who would, in turn, bring wealth to others. As world economies began to dwindle from 2007, Europe became less attractive and attention again shifted to local 419. This time, some mysticism (juju) was introduced into it.

The new trans-border juju connection

Many of the young fraudsters who mainly reside in Benin City and Ekpoma have added new perspective to the business. Although many people often pay less attention to the heinous activities of these young fraudsters, our correspondent who has been monitoring the development can authoritatively report on some of these new dimensions.

In mid-2012, five young men from Ekpoma embarked on a long road-trip to neighbouring Togo. According to one of them, they went to the country to get some spiritual help that would strengthen their hands on the business. He further revealed that Democratic Republic of Congo and Togo have become the new ‘Holy Lands’ for 419 scammers from Edo. They go to these countries to source spiritual powers.

Said he: “A friend of ours in Benin City, who we often refer to as Boss, gave us the hint that Togo was the new destination. Each of us left Nigeria with about N100,000. Sadly, the money wasn’t enough as some of the things we were expected to buy for rituals, doubled. Our friends from Benin had to send us some additional funds.”

Speaking further, he said: “We spent over one week in a thick forest in Togo. We weren’t allowed to take our bath. The juju man said it was part of the rituals. I can’t really reveal the details of what really transpired there. They aren’t things you’ll want to hear.”

There are several other instances of some young men who have also visited local juju priests in South West states as well as Okene in Kogi State. In Ekpoma, for instance, two young men were caught recently having sex at night with mad women in Eguare Market. Upon interrogation, they revealed that it was part of a ritual they were mandated to carry out in order to be successful in their trade (419). There are also some reported cases of insanity in Ekpoma and Benin City of some young men whose spiritual adventure back-fired. Till this day, they still roam the streets.

Involvement of local cyber cafes and the police

In Ekpoma town, for instance, some well-known cyber cafes are the market place of these scammers. These cyber cafes are located mainly within Ujemen and Eguare towns. Managers of these cafes are always on the look out for police, who, ironically, have also turned these cafes into cash cows. One of the managers of these cyber cafes recently contested in the local government election. He is not short of exotic cars, and he makes a show of them.

Some of the cafes operate 24-hours as their ‘clients’ usually ply their trade at night, which is against EFCC’s order, banning cyber cafes from operating at night. More than 50 percent of those patronising these cafes in the city are young fraudsters.

The involvement of some police officers in aiding and abetting this trade continues to anger many residents in the state. It has become a problem in Benin and Ekpoma to drive flashy cars or walk around with one’s laptop. Police officers look out for such individuals to arrest. In some instances, the arrested fellow is brutally dealt with, spends a night in police cell and only to discover that he is innocent.

Some of these scammers are arrested by the police, but are let off under some compromising circumstances. The story now on the streets of Ekpoma is that there is no policeman who does not have personal car and owns at least a house. The presence of the EFCC is completely missing in Ekpoma town. In Benin City, EFCC operatives have made several arrests, but the arrested fellow always resurfaces within hours or a few days – and to resume his business.

While robbery, kidnapping and other vicious crimes continue in Edo State, scammers and fraudsters seem to be having a field day. Everyday, new people are lured into it, while anti-corruption agencies appear helpless. Many residents in the state believe that 419 has come to stay in the state so long as there are no decent jobs to absorb the growing number of youths. 

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Our Friend Is Addicted To Raping Girls

A thirty-year-old man, whose name was simply given as Rowland, is now in police custody in Calabar for allegedly raping a thirteen-year-old girl.

The girl, who reported the incident to the police at Akim Police Division which effected the arrest of Rowland, said she was returning from school, on Friday, 22 March, when she met Rowland who took her to his house and raped her all-night. The story took a twist when the suspect’s friends were quoted as alleging he was addicted to raping young girls.

“I was coming back from school and the road was very dark because NEPA took light as rain was threatening to fall and I was afraid of walking the road alone. I had to wait in a nearby shop and while there I saw Rowland who lives close to our house. I told him I was afraid of going back home alone and he assured me he would escort me home. After he bought what he wanted to buy, we set out together towards home”, the victim said.

She said while on their way home, the suspect, who lives some houses away from the 31 Barracks Road where Mary resides, said he wanted to call in his place to pick an umbrella in the event that the rain that is threatening falls. “And, since it was very dark on the road, he asked me to come to the house and wait while he gets the umbrella. We got to his house, I waited at the door for him to get the umbrella but suddenly he came out and grabbed me and flung me inside his room and shut the door”.

Mary, an extra-mural student at Government Secondary School, Akim, said she shouted and screamed but the “man over powered me and used his palm to gag me and sprayed something on me and I became too weak and he raped me several times until I became unconscious”.

Mary said the suspect kept her in his room till the next day .“It was on Saturday morning that I found myself at the staircase to our apartment when neighbours gathered round and woke me to find out why I slept at the steps”.

It was then she remembered the events of the previous night and reported to the police which went after Rowland but was nowhere to be found. It was on Sunday morning that the police were able to locate the suspect who said he spent the previous day at a wedding ceremony where he was engaged as a video camera man.

“I was called by my friend Nse who had his wedding on Saturday that his camera man had been arrested and that I should get to Akim Police Division to help secure his bail and when I got there, I discovered that the man was arrested for rape, and I am against such acts and rather told the police to charge him to court”, Barrister James Ibor of Basic Rights Counsel Initiative told Sunday Vanguard.

He said friends of the suspect testified that the “fellow is addicted to raping young girls. It is better to put such a person where he belongs- the prison-so that his character could be reformed”, Ibor said.

DSP John Umoh, the Cross River State Police Command Public Relations Officer, said the man would soon be charged to Family Court so that the “victim can go there and testify since that court sits in camera”. 

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"I Gave Up My Daughter For Alcohol"

Downing yet another glass of vodka, Gillian McFarlane closed the curtains and fell to the floor drunk as her five-year-old daughter Sara slept upstairs.

Gillian’s drinking had worsened lately. She was consuming a bottle and a half of vodka and half a bottle of red wine EVERY DAY.

As her downward spiral went on, the former air hostess reflected on the impact her drinking was having on her child — and made a decision that will horrify parents everywhere.

Gillian sent Sara to live with her ex, who had moved to Italy, in order to continue drinking.

The 48-year-old mum now realises she was in the grip of alcohol addiction. But she is still racked with guilt for uprooting Sara from her life in Glasgow and carting her across Europe — all so she could drink herself into oblivion.

Sara is now 11 and still lives in southern Italy — 1,200 miles away — with her businessman father Antonio, 38. Italian is now her first language.

Two years after she went teetotal, Gillian, who lives alone, admits she is still haunted by the look on Sara’s face when she learned that she was moving abroad.

Gillian says: “I’ll never forget Sara looking so confused when I started packing her bags to take her to her father.

“It was heartbreaking and I felt full of guilt. But at the time I thought it was the right thing to do.

“As disgraceful as it sounds, I didn’t have the energy to be a mother.

“All I wanted to do was drink. It wasn’t fair on her.”

Before she became an alcoholic, Gillian says she was a good mum to her daughter. She cut out alcohol completely during the pregnancy.

Sara arrived in February 2002. But three years later Gillian and Antonio split up. He returned to his homeland — and Gillian turned to alcohol to numb the pain.

She recalls: “I felt desperately low. I asked my mum, Isabella, to take care of Sara for a few days so I could be alone to clear my head.

“Walking back from Mum’s, I stopped at the local shop to buy some wine. Then I slipped a bottle of vodka into my basket too.

“As soon as I stepped through the front door, I poured myself a large glass of wine. And then another one.

“Soon the bottle was empty and I crawled into bed, drunk.”

Gillian began leaving Sara with family or friends most days while she sat at home drowning her sorrows.

She says: “I knew what I was doing was wrong and that I had a little girl to look after. But the urge to drink was just too strong.”

Gillian even took to drinking when Sara was around.

“I tried to do it discreetly, so I’d tell her to do a jigsaw puzzle or sit her in front of the TV. Then I’d slip into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of wine. I wouldn’t get blind drunk around her but after I tucked her into bed I’d carry on drinking. It sounds awful, but I resented the fact she was there because I couldn’t drink myself into oblivion.”

Gillian says she was still functioning at this point — and would get Sara to school on time in the morning, wearing clean clothes and neatly turned-out.

But Gillian’s condition deteriorated when her beloved mother died at 73 from stomach cancer.

Soon she could no longer drive Sara to after-school activities because she was over the limit.

Painfully aware that she was failing as a mum, Gillian decided to send her daughter to live with Antonio.

She says: “It all happened very quickly. One minute I was talking to Antonio on the phone and the next I was packing Sara’s bags.

“I broke down when I packed her favourite teddy bear. I hadn’t stopped loving Sara but I knew I had a big drink problem.

“She deserved to be taken out and played with — and I knew Antonio was a great dad who would do that.”

With Sara taken care of, Gillian’s drinking continued. She even started to steal alcohol when she could not afford to buy it.

Gillian, who is unemployed, says: “My looks deteriorated and my eyes looked dead. I was a lost soul and I wanted to die.”

By early 2010, the booze was taking its toll on Gillian’s health. She says: “My stomach was swollen and I looked like I was full-term pregnant.

“It was terrifying so I went to my GP to see what was going on. He referred me to hospital and I was immediately admitted for tests. They revealed I had cirrhosis of the liver, serious kidney problems, fluid on the abdomen and a collapsed lung. I also had yellow eyes from jaundice.

“Doctors said if I touched one more sip of alcohol I’d die.

“I was admitted to the Royal Infirmary in Glasgow and remained there for six months, receiving help and counselling.”

Many alcoholics suffer vomiting, shaking and cold sweats when they stop drinking, but Gillian’s experience was less dramatic.

She says: “I think my body was closing down and didn’t have the energy to fight.

“I had regular blood transfusions because my blood wasn’t clotting and as a result I was black and blue with bruises.

“I didn’t feel like talking and was quite negative to begin with.”

Then one evening Gillian says she had a spiritual moment, when her mother “visited her” in hospital and told her to wake up.

She says: “It was the most surreal moment of my life. I’d given up the will to live and was hoping I’d die.

“But hearing my mother’s voice changed everything for me. I realised I needed to sort myself out for the sake of my daughter.

“I started to take my counselling more seriously and was determined to battle my demons.”

That July, Gillian was discharged. She says: “As soon as I got home I threw all the alcohol out of my cupboards.

“Antonio was understandably sceptical that I had changed but he invited me to visit them in Italy.

“I burst into tears when I saw Sara at the airport. It had been five years since I had seen her face to face. She had grown up so much and was even more beautiful than I remembered. Her dark hair was long and wavy and she was now olive-skinned after so much time in the sun.

“It’s crazy to think I’ve only seen her eight times in five years and I try not to dwell on it too much.

“I get sad when I think about all those precious moments I’ve missed out on. But it wouldn’t be fair to uproot her now from the life she knows — and loves — in Italy.”

Gillian hopes her story will serve as a cautionary tale for those tempted to turn to alcohol when at a low ebb.

She says: “If just one person reading this seeks help then I’ll be happy. I’ll never forgive myself for giving my daughter away.

“But I find some solace in the fact she’s happy in Italy and is being well looked after. Antonio has been kind and understanding. Initially, he had to cut me out of Sara’s life for her own good. But since I turned my life around he has changed towards me.

“He knows how much I adore Sara and has helped us rebuild our relationship.

“I’ve been sober nearly two years now and I’ve never felt better.”

Antonio says: “I have admiration for Gillian and a lot of respect as she beat a huge addiction to alcohol and I know it wasn’t easy for her.

“We’re working together to make things as easy as possible for Sara, and Gillian knows she’s welcome to visit whenever she wants.

“She’s an excellent mother when she’s sober and I’m so glad she is back in Sara’s life.”

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WICKEDNESS: 6 Men Arrested For Gang-R*ping And Infecting 12-Year-Old Girl With HIV

One Mamman Bashir and five others have been arrested by the Nigerian Security and Civil Defence Corps, NSCDC, in Jigawa for allegedly molesting a 12-year-old girl in Maigatari Local Government Area of the state.

The suspects were also said to have infected the victim with HIV virus.

In a statement issued by the command in Dutse, it was disclosed that the suspects were arrested on April 3.

According to the statement, signed by the state’s Commandant of the NSCDC, Mr Muhammad Gidado, Bashir, 32, had in January, allegedly connived with his friends and forcefully had carnal knowledge of the girl at Kantakarata Village.

He explained that the girl was treated at the Comprehensive Health Centre, Maigatari from the injuries she sustained from the assault.

Gidado, however, said the girl was found to be HIV positive when she was referred to the clinic for re-examination few months after the assault by the gang.

He disclosed that the suspects, who had escaped were arrested on April 3 by men of the command, following a report of the assault by the victim’s guardian.

Gidado said that three of the suspects were tested positive to HIV after medical examinations.

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Should I Go After Him or Give it Time?

I really love your blog (and both your novels), it feeds my romantic soul! I struggled with sending this email but I'm losing my mind so I hope your readers can help me. I apologise if you have addressed a similar issue previously but I couldn't find anything so here it goes....

I met a great guy some years ago now. It was like fate because he was in a different country but his friend met me and instantly thought we'd click. He was right, we did. We talked on the phone for about 3 months and then work took me to his location so we met in person. He had visa issues so he couldn't come to me in case you wondered. Before I went, we had great communication and we talked every day and for several hours on the weekend. He told me a lot of things, some that were very sensitive (visa situation e.g.) and he also opened up about his family etc.

I knew I was developing feelings for him but I forced myself to wait till I met him in person before I truly let go in case I wasn't physically attracted to him (seen him on skype but still needed to see him in the flesh) but the minute I laid eyes on him my heart leapt out of my body and right into his hands. Sadly, he didn't return the favour and whilst we spent all my free time together, he would just stare at me and say he liked me but he needed to process what to do with the relationship.

This led to a lot of frustration on my part (after all, I'd given our children names in my head) so the idea of "let's take it one day at a time" was the last thing I wanted to hear. We kissed but never went further but he bought me flowers and took me to lunches and dinners. I met all his friends and attended church with him. I left frustrated that he hadn't committed but glad I had a good time.

I'm ashamed to say, I hounded him daily with questions like where are we going? What are we doing? How do you feel? Completely oblivious to his situation at the time ( struggling, not able to work whilst waiting for papers), all I could think about was how we were both mid to late 30s and we needed to marry. After all, I accepted him with all his problems so what was the issue? I was so childish, it didn't even occur to me that I couldn't move to his location because I didn't have the visa either but I was in love and I thought that was enough.

Eventually, he had enough of my nagging and he walked away. He stopped taking my calls and wouldn't respond to my emails or texts. As we were not in the same country, I couldn't physically go to beg him and I was too ashamed to involve the cousin so I just let it burn and try to get over the pain. It messed me up so badly, I started to go to counselling. There, in the last 6months, I've learnt to see my mistakes. I'm not saying he was perfect but I definitely handled things terribly. I used to get so emotional that I would yell, cry, scream, anything to manipulate him into moving faster. He never said he didn't care or me, all he said was wait.

I was sad that I could have contributed to the demise of our relationship but I finally accepted the situation and started to move on. Suddenly, without warning, I got an email from him (nearly a year after we last spoke) and all it said was "I was wrong, can I call you?".

Stunned, I froze but eventually agreed to talk to him. He missed the time he was meant to call and I went beserk. All the counselling went out the window as the rawness of the pain came back and I felt abandoned all over again (all this because he didn't call when he said he would) and I sent him the rudest ugliest email, called him names and showed out all over again.

I realised my mistake as soon as I hit send but it was too late. I had to email him an apology and ask him to please call. He replied he would but he just was scared of my anger. Eventually he called and no, he wasn't looking to rekindle, he just wanted to apologise for disappearing.

That was 3 months ago and he never called me back but I can't stop thinking about this man. I still have very strong feelings and I am still going to counselling to deal with my anger issues but of course, he doesn't know that. I've been thinking of flying out to where he is. I just can't let it go till I see it in his eyes. A part of me believes he may still have had feelings for me when he emailed me after so long but I blew it.

So what do you think? Should I just forget about this or should I follow my heart and see if seeing him face to face would make a difference? I'm so confused right now but I'm very close to booking the ticket. I plan to stay in a hotel and only call him on landing. Please help!!!

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