I lost my peace of mind and felt the compelling need to speak with someone. That is my reason for writing you.
I don’t know where to start from but I hope you and your readers will understand me and counsel me on what to do. I am a woman who desperately needs happiness. I have been a victim of circumstances for a long time and now that I think that I have finally found happiness, an issue concerning my 13-year-old daughter is threatening my happiness. I am torn between the devil and the deep blue sea and it appears I am being forced to make a choice.
I was six months pregnant with my daughter and looking forward to the day that would have been one of my happiest days on earth; (my wedding day) when fate dealt me a serious blow. Bosun, my fiance died in a motor accident, three weeks before our wedding day. I had no choice but to begin the journey of my life alone.
I had the support of his family to take care of my daughter when she was born. My family did not abandon me too, but all their support did not bring back the love of my life. Bosun and I loved each other and like every young woman, I looked forward to a blissful marital life with him, but it was not to be.
My daughter was four years old when I met Eric. I was honestly not interested in a relationship then, but there was a lot of pressure from all quarters then for me to go into another relationship so that I would find happiness again.
If not for Bosun’s demise, Eric is the last person I would think of dating, not to talk of getting serious with. But at that time, he was there for me and I was encouraged to give him a chance, little did I know then that I was courting trouble.
I wouldn’t say I am totally perfect, there were some things I could have handled better, but the basic factor which militated against our relationship was our ethnic differences and the fact that his parents and family members couldn’t get over the fact that I already had a child before I met their son.
Eric did not make issues better. He was very materialistic. He is the type of person who measures success with how much money you have or what he can get from you monetarily, regardless of who you are while he wouldn’t spend a kobo on you.
Our relationship broke up after three years. I was very lucky that we have not tied the nuptial knot; it would have been very painful because our relationship wouldn’t have worked. I made up my mind to stay off men and I kept my resolve until two years ago when I met the man in my life now.
I wouldn’t want to mention his name for privacy sake; he really made me happy and my relationship with him is like a dream come true. He is everything I ever wanted in a man. Handsome, tall, caring and very kind - hearted. He took my daughter as his very own child and since I met him, I have become comfortable both emotionally and financially.
Although he is a married man, he told me he had no problems at home; we have not decided if we wanted a permanent relationship or not. I am contented with the way things are now until when my daughter came home from school during her last holiday.
She told me “daddy” (that is what he encouraged her to call him) tried to touch her br*ast and also finger her when I wasn’t at home.
On the said day, he came into town from a trip and decided to stay the night with us before going to his own house. It was not his first time, so I had no reason to think otherwise. I went to the market to get some foodstuffs as I was not expecting him, so I wasn’t prepared for him.
On the said day, he came into town from a trip and decided to stay the night with us before going to his own house. It was not his first time, so I had no reason to think otherwise. I went to the market to get some foodstuffs as I was not expecting him, so I wasn’t prepared for him.
When my daughter told me what happened, I could not place this, because I really could not figure him behaving this way. I asked her to forget it. It however became a source of worry for me when she told me that the same thing had happened twice before she left for school.
In my mind, I really cannot figure him doing this, but at the same time, I cannot conclude that my daughter could lie about an act like this. She did not come home for this holiday because she had to stay back in school for extra coaching classes for her forthcoming examinations..
I have been worried about this issue, though I haven’t asked him, I don’t want a repeat of it, if it actually happened. My daughter would definitely expect me to do something. I mustn’t fail her, please, how do I handle this issue?
Morinsola.
