6 problems you need to solve in your relationship



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YOU have just gone through the honeymoon phase of your new relationship and the other shoe's about to drop. Find out how you can navigate through arguments, spend some time apart and communicate to keep your bond strong. Most of all, learn how to make sure problems don't recur like a bad case of athlete's foot.

1- She doesn't (fully) trust you
She suspects that you eye every female in view. Why? Probably because you possess the sense of sight and as such, you notice the opposite sex. This, in turn, makes her jealous. While she may be partly right, she's mostly wrong. Sure you look at women, but only casually and briefly. After all, by checking out women, your hardwired-by-evolution male brain is just doing what it's programmed to do. This doesn't mean you actually want to pursue these women. Your lady needs to know and understand this.

What to do:
Invite her out with your buddies and show her that you only have eyes for her.

Another great way to show her that she's overreacting is to play the "do you think that guy/girl is cute?" game and show her that it's natural to notice attractive people. By making it an innocent act, you reduce this human instinct to its most unthreatening level.

2- You need more "alone" time
It can be tough to start separating yourself from her after spending all your time together. The passion is still

there, but you feel like she's smothering you. It's time to spend some time apart.

How to convince her to spend time with her friends, and more solutions
What to do:

Spend quality time with her but most importantly, make it count. Don't simply sit on the couch and watch television together because you're too tired to do anything else. Plan a formal date: take her to a restaurant and then head to a lounge for cocktails. On those nights when you don't have plans and she suggests getting together, tell her that you need some alone time to chill out.

You can also encourage her to spend time with her friends or take up a new hobby. This will give you space and something to look forward to when you do see her. And if her new hobby happens to be watching football, then all the better, right?

3- You fight constantly
When the tiniest disagreement becomes an all-out war, it can put a serious damper on your relationship. Sleeping on the couch is not fun.

What to do:
Cut the argument short: is the topic really worth arguing about? If it is, then try to understand the problem from her point of view. Listen actively and attentively. She may be hinting at what frustrates her; don't ignore this information. Similarly, this is a great opportunity to let her in on some of your anger triggers. She'll listen to what you have to say and take it to heart.

4- You disagree about financial matters
If you live together, who pays for what? Do you always foot the bill when you're out? You might think she's taking advantage of you. Find out.

In the long term, questions like these can pose major obstacles in your lives. And more disconcertingly, can cause lingering resentment if you don't get them ironed out early on.

What to do:

If you live together, create a joint account for shared expenses. Otherwise, go Dutch or take turns footing the bill on nights out. Either way, use these tools to restore some financial equilibrium. It's not just about good fiscal planning; it may very well save your relationship.

5- There's no more romance
The spark seems to be gone and neither of you takes the time to be romantic anymore. It's time to put some fire back into your s*x life.

What to do:
Organise a romantic evening at home or rent a hotel room. Put some champagne on ice, light a few candles, buy her some lingerie, and turn into Don Juan. Be spontaneous. Another great idea is to plan a weekend getaway to the country or a spa resort, to reconnect.

6- You work too much
She thinks you spend too much time at work. Could she be right? Do long nights at the office or working on weekends sound familiar? If so, rethink your work patterns for the sake of your relationship.

What to do:
Increase your productivity at the office. Clear a few evenings and spend time with her. Make an effort to give her the attention she needs.
Try and organise your lunch hours to see each other more during your workweek. If you work close to each other, hop in the car and take her out for lunch.

Fix your problems
Your relationship is a two-way street. Keep in mind that if you are making sacrifices for her sake, she needs to do the same. If not, you need to consider whether this is someone you really want to be with.

Remember; relationships require maintenance and compromise. There will always be issues that need to be resolved. But if you use these problem-solving suggestions, you'll have a better chance of getting through the turmoil. Plus, you'll pre-empt the constant nagging that you would have otherwise heard from your girlfriend.

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