My daughter Anna had boyfriends regularly and they were all quite the same. They were young, awkward teenage boys who were overjoyed they had a girlfriend.
I met Anna's 19-year-old boyfriend, Lukas, for the first time at a small party she had for her 17th birthday. Lukas was absolutely gorgeous: tall, tanned, green eyes, broad shoulders and ruffled blonde hair. He came up and introduced himself to me and gave me a firm handshake, which I find is so important when I meet new people.
He gave me a charming, white-toothed smile and said how pleased he was to meet me. I had never intended to look amazing for the evening, but I dressed up for her birthday. But after meeting Lukas I rushed back to my room to fix my hair and make-up.
Anna was my only child and over the years I have taken care of my appearance. I was only young and I was used to attracting men. I knew I shouldn't have with Lukas but there was something I couldn't resist.
I ignored my feelings for him that night, while still looking at him when I coincidentally had to put more food or drinks out. While getting food from the kitchen I overheard the boys on the porch talking about how much of a MILF I was. I didn't know what a MILF was until I asked Anna the next day.
Most of the guests stayed the night. As I went to bed I walked out to see Lukas returning from the bathroom shirtless. I tried to ignore it as best as I could but Lukas noticed my interest straight away and gave me a flirty, arrogant smile. I composed myself and returned the look, his surprise gave me the knowledge I could have him straight away. I controlled my urge that night; I knew it was Anna's birthday.
Every time Anna wanted to invite him over I said she couldn't. I didn't want to confront him or the feelings I had. Anna got upset so often when she couldn't have him over, as it had never been an issue before, and she thought I hated him.
One night I finally agreed to let Lukas stay over. I nervously got ready. My hands shook when I put my mascara on and I put on my nicest underwear and sprayed on the perfume I only used on special occasions, Chanel Chance.
Lukas was arriving from his water polo practice and Anna had singing lessons the same afternoon, so I assumed they would arrive the same time.
Unfortunately at 6pm Anna called and said there had been a car accident and traffic had been built up. She was trying to get the back way home but couldn't get through.
Lukas arrived on time. I thought it would be awkward, conversing with my daughter's boyfriend, but I found him so witty and charming. He spoke so confidently and smoothly; I couldn't tell if he was flirting with me or not.
I got a wine out of the fridge as I did every night and later found myself flirting with him. I bit the edge of my wine glass and laughed when he spoke, leaning over casually so he could catch a glimpse of my cleavage. I noticed his eyes glanced casually over my body, there was no effort to hide it and he caught my eyes, in that moment I knew I had to do something.
After I downed my wine, Lukas stood up and took my glass to the kitchen and I followed him in.
He had his back to me so I kissed his neck down to his collar and slid my hands down his body. He turned around and put me on the kitchen bench. His hands were everywhere. He was more experienced than any man I had ever been with. We were so frantic for each other he tore off my shirt and my nice underwear, and we made love on the benchtop.
We suddenly heard Anna's car pull into the drive way and I grabbed my clothes hurriedly and ran to my room to shower and change, but not before Lukas pulled me in quickly and kissed me in a way I had never been kissed before.
That night, while they were watching movies, I overheard Anna's voice. She was yelling at Lukas. She said he smelt like perfume she didn't own and had the tiniest smudge of lipstick on his blue collar. She screamed and cried, telling him he could never come back. I waited in the next room, scared he would tell her our dirty secret.
He denied it guiltily and left, knowing Anna wouldn't forgive him.
He called our home the next day while Anna was at school and I agreed he could come over during the day as long as Anna wasn't here.
I wanted to call it off but he was too gorgeous. There were no strings attached.
I still see Lukas one or two days a week. Anna doesn't know and never will, though we agreed it was too much of a risk to continue doing what we did at our house.
I feel horrible for doing this to Anna. She tried patching her relationship up with Lukas but he never wanted to get involved again after hurting her so much.
I don't know if I can overcome the guilt I feel, but when I'm with Lukas the s***x is just amazing. I threw out my Chanel perfume too.
