How To Please A Nigerian Man - By Etcetera

Etcetera is back again and this time he comes for the ladies.He has taken out time to help Nigeria woman understand their men.He give tips to the ladies on how to please Nigeria men. Read below:

Is something wrong with the Nigerian woman? Has she lost her beauty and power of seduction? How come Nigerian billionaires and politicians are all of a sudden having preference for foreign women? Or has the money syndrome finally caught up with them?…… Oops! Did you say it’s about time? Hmmm maybe Nigerian men are difficult to satisfy like some of our ladies have claimed. But is that the appropriate excuse? Well, for any woman who truly knows her onions, pleasing a man (whether a Nigerian or not) is never a difficult feat. So ladies, here are some insights to a Nigerian man’s heart that will guide you to becoming the right woman in his eyes. 

Submission has got a bad rap in recent years. The feminist movement has even made matters worse. Women are forgetting that submission wasn’t your man’s idea, it was God’s. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) Again the Word says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18). Men should also know that submission does not mean subjection to abuse. Submission simply implies respect for another’s authority.

Ok sweerie, the premiership ends this weekend. You can now have the remote control from Monday morning. Watch as much telemundo and your Nollywood movies as you can from now till August. Nigerian ladies should understand that the key to a harmonious family life is finding that balance. Your man may not be a professional footballer and probably may not go to the field and play every Saturday, but if you don’t disturb him whenever he is watching his favourite team play on TV, he will love you more. Remember that by learning to love and support his team, you are creating a deeper bond between the two of you. Be on his side, root for his team, celebrate his victories, mourn his defeats. Even the Bible commands us to “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” (Romans 12:15) lol…

Every Nigerian man loves food. I mean the actual food. There’s no such thing as a modern or old fashion way. A way is a way and the only way to a typical African man’s heart has always been through his stomach. Coming home from a long day’s work, we enjoy nothing better than a well cooked meal. Remember the story of Esau in the Bible? He was so hungry and was practically shaking after working in the fields that he was willing to sell his birthright to his brother Jacob for a hot bowl of soup! (Genesis 25:29-34). Ladies, when a Nigerian man is not properly fed, he becomes irrational, irritable and vulnerable to temptation. Feed us well not just for anything else, but so you may have peace in the house…. lol

Now ladies, ask any Nigerian man to choose between a delicious plate of soup and no sex or a tasteless meal and a mind-blowing sex, he will prefer to drink garri without sugar and have that mind-blowing encounter with you in bed. Does that tell you something? Babes, you may be everything from smart, charming with long pretty legs and even God-fearing but if your husband doesn’t find you sexually attractive, SHIKENA. A Nigerian man always wants that thing. So, stop holding back whenever he wants it. Adopt the Boy Scout motto that says “always be prepared.” Stop using your sexuality to manipulate or punish him. Our greatest vulnerability is our sexuality, so don’t just go there – No games with that please. Give yourself to him freely every time, every way and everywhere. The Bible commands you, “Deprive not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5). Did you hear that? It says even after fasting, you should still give it to him…. Hmmmmm! I love the Bible. No wonder they call it the “perfect book.”

All men want to be successful. But it is so unfortunate that most Nigerian women measure success by what a man has accomplished and not by who he is as a person. It is the role of the woman to help her man see the big picture in life, not through the eyes of someone who wants to purchase every latest trend in fashion, mobile phones and cars. The good book of the lord says, “Better is the poor (man) who walks in his integrity than one perverse in his ways, though he be rich.” (Proverbs 28:6). So, ladies, always let your man know when he is doing a good job. Praise him for his patience with words like, “I really appreciate that you helped me with the dishes today.” “Thanks so much for emptying the dustbin; I appreciate you honey, even in the small things.” Note that a little compliment to a Nigerian man every now and again works like magic.

Nigerian men are driven by the need for significance. We often ask ourselves this question, “Do I really matter to her?” A man’s thirst for significance can only be quenched in knowing how important he is. That is why we will chase after every vain pursuit only to hear the words, “You matter. You are important. You are appreciated. You are significant.” If a man never heard these words or sensed this approval from his woman, he can spend his whole life chasing someone else who will value his identity.

Support your man at every turn. Be there for him to guide him. This is God’s command for you as the woman. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18). A man needs help in the small things like finding our car keys or in bigger things like building a business. It has become one of the most popular sayings that “behind every great man is a far greater woman.”

With men, two plus two is always four. We are a straight-jacket mind species. Maybe it is so because we have always found solace in being logical. And it has proved to be a sure way one can maintain stability in the home, especially in times of uncertainty or danger. But it is clear that men most times lack that natural intuitiveness found in women. Which makes it important, that whenever your man is about to strike a business deal, he needs your input because he might not understand that deep gut feeling you have that something is not right. For a man, if it looks good “on paper,” it is good even when in your heart of hearts, you can smell something foul brewing. Your man needs your intuitive, instinctive, perceptive and discerning insights when making decisions. But as his woman, you should be careful so as not to bruise his ego.

A man is not molded to understand the emotional and dynamics behind the problems that women face. So it is important that the woman doesn’t go running and pouring all her cares, worries, fears, insecurities and troubles on him all at once, it can be very overwhelming. If it is your car that is making that funny noise or something in the house is broken, YESSSSS! he knows exactly what to do instantly. Every man requires that extra training to be a good listener and you will have to working at it until he is there. You can simply start by asking him to listen to you for one minute without interruption and gradually build up his tolerance level. If you throw a fifteen-minute monologue at him, he will freeze up, walk away or get annoyed. Make things simple for him. Spell out exactly what you need, even if it is just a simple hug (and you may want to also explain to him that a hug does not mean you want to have sex!)… because e nor dey hard us to conclude.

lol…

Every man wants to come home to a peaceful house after a long day at work. But our women don’t always permit such a luxury. We want tranquility and control in every aspect of our lives; that is why we sometimes do everything possible to create an atmosphere of peace and serenity. It is also why every man dreads a nagging woman. A nagging woman drains us of body vitamins and morale. If you nag your man, he will distance himself emotionally and possibly even physically. The Bible says, “It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” (Proverbs 25:24).

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How I Got Pregnant For My Husband's Son - Woman Shares Touching Story

  A women in dire need of advice shares are story, asking for help. Read below..

  I'm 35 years old and I've been married for the past 17 years. 

For 17 years I've been praying for the fruit of the womb. My husband and I had been to different hospitals for medical check to no avail. The doctors kept saying we are both fertile (meaning we can both make babies). I married my husband while i was 18 years old and still a virgin. My husband has always been there for me in everything; understanding and supportive during our trying times. 

About 2 years ago, my childhood friend advised me on what to do... Following her advice, I remembered 'Bayo;' my 22-year-old house help. Bayo has been with us since he was 8 years old and we treated him as if he was ours. I started talking to him about his personal life. Few months later, my husband traveled to his home town to see his people, so I utilized the opportunity! 

I locked Bayo in my room and begged him to have sex with me. He refused at first, then I threatened him that I would send him back to d village. He later agreed, so we had sex 5 times before the break of dawn. The next day, my husband returned home. 

Thirteen days later, I became pregnant. Bayo was not aware that I was pregnant and I gave him N1million and told him to take the money and go back to the village. The little chap was grateful and happy about the money. 

I eventually told my husband that I was pregnant and he instantly became the happiest person in the world. He called his mother, updated them about the news and they started buying kid clothing and toys. 

Few months later, we did a scan and the doctors told us that I was going to have twins.

Glory be to God, I gave birth to Taiwo (female) and Kehinde (male). Two days ago, my husband woke me up in the middle of the night, held me in his arms, looked into my eyes, and asked me: "Jumoke, who is the father of our kids?" 

I was shocked and scared at how he could have known. I just knew he had stumbled on the truth because of the way he asked me. I didn't know what to say. I was so shy because I knew I had betrayed his trust. I looked into his eyes and I burst into tears.

He then said to me:  

"Jumoke, before you start talking, I have a confession to make."

I cleaned my face and sat upright. He went ahead and told me how he had unprotected sex with a girl in his village and contacted STD before he got married and how he didn't treat it for a very long time. He told me that when he eventually went to the hospital, the doctors told him that the STD he didn't treat early had made him sterile (was incapable of making a woman pregnant). He said he treated the STD before he got married to me and the he has always known that he was sterile. 

He explained that all those test we've been doing had been paid for and that he had always told the doctors  to give me a wrong result. He also added that the woman he had sex with back then got pregnant and that the child was BAYO; our house-help. He also went ahead by saying that he had always wanted to tell me to look for someone to impregnate me but that he just didn't have the balls to do so. But now that I had done it, he would like to know who the father is. 

"I fainted..."  

I need matured advice please help.

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SHOCKING CONFESSION: ''I Have Hidden My HIV Status From My Husband For Over Four Years''

According to Punch Metro , a woman disclosed how she has kept her HIV positive status away from her husband after years of marriage.

Sh said; 

''I cannot tell you how I contracted HIV, but I had a brief fling with a pupil in my secondary school in 2009 when I was 17''---Mrs. Grace Brume, 22-year-old HIV patient, expecting her second baby at the Amassoma General Hospital, Amassoma, Bayelsa State.

PUNCH Metro had enquired from Grace how her husband, Fyneface, was treating her considering her challenge, she said, “I did not tell him that I am HIV positive. No one knows that I am HIV-positive except an aunt. Even my husband does not know. I have hidden my status from him since I tested positive.

“I would have told my husband, but the aunt said I should not. My aunt keeps encouraging me that those who have HIV will not die and that there are drugs they take to keep alive. Interestingly, my husband is negative.”

I usually convinced my husband   to use condoms.

“My husband used to kick against it each time I gave him condoms to use. I told him I was asthmatic and I did not want to get pregnant often. As a result, he agreed to be using condoms even though he did not like it.

“When we wanted to have the second baby, he did it without condoms. Still, my husband is negative.”

She said her resolve not to tell anybody was because of stigmatization which most HIV patients usually suffer.

Grace said her first child born to the “rascally schoolboy” was HIV-negative. She said Praise-God was in the Kindergarten class in a private school, stressing that when she was tested after 18 months of birth, there was no single trace of HIV in her (Praise-God).

Grace said, “My advice for pregnant women is for them to go to hospital to their HIV status. If they are positive, they should start taking their drugs to avoid the baby being infected.

“The ART drugs are working very well. I almost committed suicide five years ago when I tested positive to HIV. I was told that I was pregnant and had HIV. It was as if the entire world was crashing on my head. I went to tell my aunt about the development. She advised that I hid the result from everybody so that I would not have psychological problems.” 

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''I'm Tired Of Sexy Black Women'

I'm actually TIRED of sexy black women. Now hear me out on this, please.

Sexiness don't mean jack snot. Not in the grand scheme of things. Visually appealing, yes. But I can't eat sexiness.

Sexiness won't help pay these bills or pay off our student loans. Sexiness won't qualify for a mortgage, or get the IRS off my back long enough to make my next big business move.

Sexiness won't help me raise these kids. Neither will it teach my daughters their true worth and value in this world.

We got way too many 'Sexy' sistas out here with nothing else to bring to the table. Sexiness is the totality of their package. And that's WACK!

Most black men looking for a relationship want a USEFUL woman. Visual appeal alone won't cut it. Besides: there are so many black women competing to be the sexiest, it's not even a race worth entering.

Can you cook? Do you clean? Do you have mothering skills Do you love your father? Respect him? Respect other black men in general?

Have you divested yourself of prior relationship baggage? Can you hold a conversation about REAL world events? And no: Love and Hip Hop doesn't count!

Do you have a REAL relationship with a REAL God: or do you follow the fake one many American Christians have invented for themselves because he's more tolerable than the actual Truth?

These are the kind of questions discerning men are asking nowadays. So if sexiness is all you bring to the table, you can keep it.

I'd rather have a woman of pure unadulterated substance. And I'm sure I speak for most conscious-thinking brothers out there on this one.

There's a new breed of black men out there ladies. And we ain't settling for second best or taking any shorts. That's all many of you are use to dealing with anyway.

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''SHE IS NEVER SATISFIED, ALWAYS ASKING FOR MORE S*X''

 A 42-year-old , Sola Babarinde, has pleaded with an Orile-Agege Customary Court in Lagos to dissolve his 11-year-old marriage to his wife,  because she threatened to pour acid on his new wife, and is never satisfied with $*x. 

Babarinde had approached the court to seek dissolution of his marriage over allegations of infidelity and threat to his life by his wife. 

“My wife is never satisfied in bed, he said, even if i give her my best, it is not always good for her, she asks for more even when we have gone two rounds, she behaves more like a man than a woman.

 Because of this, she goes out at will and comes home late at night. I have never enjoyed my union with her. 

“She left me for six months and before she came back, I had taken another wife to take care of the two children she left for me,” the husband said. 

“I can’t accept her back because she has done a lot of damage to my life.

 I want the court to dissolve the union and grant me custody of my children,” he said. 

However, 36-year-old Nurat(Wife) denied all the allegations, adding that her husband was lying just to get rid of her.

Nurat, a trader and resident of 9, Gbadamosi Street, Orile-Agege, stated that since her husband didn’t want her again, she was also ready for divorce. 

She also levelled allegations against Babarinde. 

She stated: “My husband married another wife while I was sick and was taken out of Lagos for treatment. 

“He goes around with anything in skirt and he is always drunk whenever he comes back from work.

 He came here to lie against me just because he doesn’t want me again. 

“I met him when he was wearing rags and now that he thinks he has something, he said he is tired of me,” she said. 

The case has been adjourned for more hearing.

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I Think My New Boyfriend Drugged and R*ped Me In The Night

This story was sent to us via our email by a reader,  she asked us to share in a bid to solicit for help.

 she met a guy, they became friends. Two  weeks later she decided  to go spend  a night in his house. See what transpired.

"I'm so worried about this. I spent a night at a guy's house and the following morning I felt really funny all over, especially in my private area like someone who has been p*netr*ted.

"He's someone I met two weeks ago and was planning to date but told him I wasn't ready for s*x yet.

 I've been having this uneasy feeling since the morning I left his house that he took advantage of me during the night without my knowledge.

"I keep having these images in my head. I know he gave me a lot of alcohol the previous night and he told me later he carried me to bed, though I woke up in the same clothes.

 I asked him if anything happened between us that night and he said no, but I'm still not convinced."

 I cant stop thinking about that night, what if he lied to me? what if he did it without any protection? what should i do?

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15 Wrong reasons to get married(Must Read)

  People still think marriage is what you wake up one day and jump into and that is a very wrong notion. So i strongly advice, don't get married for any of the reasons below.
Here are 15 wrong reasons to get married...

 1. You must not get married because of lust.

2. Infatuation (Love at first sight- sudden love)

3. Just liking the idea of marriage. It's just like joining the Army because you like the uniform. Nobody joins the army with a promise that he won't go to war.

4. The fear of remaining unmarried(my friends are all married, my sisters are all
married e.t.c)

5. Pressure (parents, friends, etc)

6. Because you want to escape being jilted (if he is the right man/woman, he or she wont jilt you)

7. Getting married for money (money does not guarantee a successful marriage at all.

8. Using marriage as an escape route! [I am tired of mummy and daddy]

9. Having pity... (feeling sorry for the Man or the Woman)

10. Foolish Expectation......[Marrying an unbeliever and expecting him/her to change in the course marriage! especially if they don't change before you marry them]

11. Marrying for Beauty or Handsomeness.......[The best time to access a woman properly is absolutely when she wakes up in the morning!] Let him see you as you are Now!!!

12. Accidental PREGNANCY! [Just because you become pregnant along the line doesn't mean you have to bury your destiny there.

13. Tribal Connection [I must marry someone from my town.,,etc...]

14. To satisfy your Parents.

15. Marrying to hurt your Parent

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5 Things Women Hate To Hear In A Relationship

Communication is very important in every relationship.

  There are words, phrases and sentences that either partner does not like to hear. Generally, here are five things women hate to hear in particular, they are:

1. You are really getting fat: A woman knows when she is adding weight. I mean, she checks the mirror everyday, so she knows when her cheeks are getting too puffy or when her waistline is disappearing. Simply put, you don’t have to rub it in again…only encourage her to lose the weight. Don’t forget to tell her that she is always beautiful too…!

2. “Is it that time of the month?”: Okay, so the fact that scientists have proven that women get edgy when they are on their periods does not mean that you should attribute every of her actions to “that time of the month. Everytime you do that, you only make her seem irrational.

3. Cheesy pick-up lines: You know what I mean…doesn’t make any woman feel special in any way…

4. Hey [gorgeous, baby, mama, boo, etc...]: Most women do not respond well to strangers who start off by calling them baby, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, babe, dear, or any other condescending and objectifying term.

5. “My ex used to love it when I…”: Well, you should get over your ex before going into another relationship. Comparing a woman to your ex is one thing you definitely can do to spoil her day!

Never forget, words hurt a great deal and are memorable too. So try as much as possible to treat your woman in a special way with your words

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Things Men Do To Get Your Attention

Men love getting  all the attention they can in many different ways. They may try to make you laugh, may do something dangerous, or even do something annoying. Here are six funny ways that guys like to seek out attention.

1. Act Like a Clown.

They are trying to make you laugh so they will pull different stunts. Dr. Scott Halzman believes that men need to do something wacky to keep their wife’s attention such as serving her dinner on roller skates or climbing into bed in a tuxedo.

2. Wear Something Especially for You.

Before men go on a date with their partner they will put on the cologne that she bought for them, or will wear a piece of clothing that they bought even if the guy doesn’t like it. This will get her attention and show that he appreciates the gifts.

3. Show Muscles.

When at the gym with their partners, men will have the women spot them while doing some weight lifting. They get a chance to show off and also force their partner to keep her eyes on only him instead of other men that are flexing their muscles.

4. Learn What Works for Women.

Most women would not be impressed if he started stripping off his clothes and prancing around the room. They want to connect on a more emotional level, so the guy will use this to his advantage.

5. Do Some Role-playing.

 Some men go to a bar with their wives but pretend that they don’t know them and then pretend to try and pick them up. This kind of fantasy play can help to bring a little spice to things and can help to remind each other about the fun they had when dating.

6. Discussing Movies.

Men may make fun of you about the sappy movies that you like. When watching a sappy chick flick they may do a fake cry, or say that the movie is so lame. Sometimes they have to act macho like this because they don’t want to be seen crying! over a movie

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Please Help: A Lady Is After My Man

 My fiance(we are planning to get married next year) and I attend a fellowship together,we hold leadership positions in our various departments.

 There is this girl that attends the fellowship, she flirts with him badly that people have come to notice, someone even called her to order Just recently.

 I noticed he deletes his a chat with her and confronted him, he said it was inappropriate for me to see it.

 I told him that as a leader,there shouldn't be such familiarity with these people and he apologised.

 He said she was just telling him about her admirers and I made it clear to him that she is only telling him that she is hot that he would be foolish not to want her.

 She has also started calling and texting me recently, and at the end of every conversation she would ask of my fiance.

 She went to his workplace and tried to set up a date with him but he didnt go because he was very busy.

 She is getting bolder by the day,what do I do? i feel like i am loosing him.

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Habits That Produce Extraordinary Relationships(Most Read)

Some people may question whether or not it is actually possible to experience an extraordinary relationship.

 I believe it is. We already know good ones exist and there are even some really great partnerships out there.

 But, how many of us strive for extraordinary? I would never deceive anyone into believing it’s a breeze to obtain.

 I will, however, challenge everyone reading this to understand whatever we put time, energy and effort into will eventually become remarkable.

 If an exceptional marriage or relationship is what you’re after, explore these 5 habits to assist you in getting there: 

 1. Speak favorably of your significant other; especially in their absence. Everyone in your personal circle should know you are in a relationship and hear more positives than negatives about your mate. 

 2. Be patient with your Partner. It’s easy to become snappish or disagreeable when we’re tired or frustrated. Remember, this is someone we love; therefore love should always be evident in each communication. Love intensely, passionately and frequently! If all the world needs is love, it’s absolutely the most key ingredient in our relationships. In everything we do, the plan should be to have no regrets. Can you imagine how powerful a relationship could be If we loved like there was no tomorrow? 

3.Touch regularly. Holding hands, kissing, gazing into each other’s eyes and making love always produce a stronger relationship. Keep in mind we can’t argue, fuss or fight while we’re physically connected. 

4.Listen attentively to your partner. There will be certain things said that pertain directly to the relationship. If for some reason we aren’t listening, we just might miss out. Listening is the best source for information gathering on our mate. How else will we learn of their little quirks, pet peeves and what makes them happy? When they speak, we must give our undivided attention. 

5.Ultimately, all we really must do is treat our partner the way we desire to be treated. People are pretty much the same. We all have feelings that can get hurt, dreams we want supported, and the need to experience an honest and healthy love relationship. Once we have that understanding, we are well on our way to achieving an extraordinary relationship.

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