I Prefer This Mystery Man To My Husband- Married Woman

My name is chizoba (not real name) i am married, been married for over three years now, am like every other married woman who is not so fulfilled with her marital life, i have never cheated on my husband before, i have tried to live my the book but it hasn't paid me well, i decided to turn around and taste what the other side of life is like, i haven't dated many men, i have always been the #goodytwoshoes#. My husband cheated on me just a few moths into our wedding

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True Confession – My House Girl is Tempting me, What Should I do??

I will simply go straight to the point, as I would not want to give very explicit details about myself. This is for some obvious reasons. My wife is very sharp, I mean, she is such an intelligent woman and can easily trace this true confession to me. For the fact that I love her so much, I cannot let a thing fall in-between us. 

That is why I have kept this as top-secret till today; but I will have to let this out of the bag. I’m not oblivious of the fact that most issues of this nature are blamed on the men whom most of us see as womanizers; but mine is a different thing entirely. I’m not a womanizer.

 I have tried everything possible to make sure that this girl-my house girl leaves my house, but my wife will always insist she stays. I’m a pastor, but I also work as a civil servant. I would have loved to write further about where I live, but for the same reason why I can’t mention my name, I can’t tell you where I’m writing from. 

 This young lady was brought to my house by my wife sometimes in 2010, and had just completed her secondary education last year. She is supposed to pick up a form for her higher education because she is related to my wife; distant relation, sort of. Frankly, she has been very good, and has been taking care of my only daughter since my wife put to bed late last year. 

Her presence is a big relief to me and wife because we are both very busy people. My wife works with a bank, and sometimes come home around 8-9pm. Lately, this young girl has summoned courage to seduce me; to be sincere, she is tempting me. I often return to the house ahead of my wife.

 Sometimes, because of hold-up and other issues, I will get in around 5-6pm. She started by running to embrace me with her transparent-short gown to welcome me each time I knock, on arrival. I was shocked the very day she did that. I felt so embarrassed. “Even if I had traveled to space…hun! This one is just too much… hun!” I soliloquized in my bedroom after she had dropped my office bag and ran out to get my food.

 This continued for 3 weeks. Sometimes, her boobs will just slip out of her ‘top’ and she will simply apologize. My wife has never met her on that gown as she wears another cloth when it’s almost time for my wife to return. I have developed double minds about her. I have had different evil thoughts since this whole thing started. The one that happened last was the way she sat facing me, with her legs wide opened.

 I left the food that I was eating and walked to the bathroom to do nothing in particular. I had thought she would adjust as soon as I returned, but she didn’t budge. I think I fell into her trap finally that day. I almost had it with her when I grabbed her, and she jumped at me. We started that regrettable romance before God intervened with the sharp cry of my baby.

 That was what saved the day. The next day, I had told my wife that we should send her away, but she vehemently refused to accept my suggestion. She had asked me to give some reasons why we should send her away, and I had told her that she was getting so stubborn and lazy; hence, she is as good as no House-help. My wife who claimed she had never experienced that had accused me of formulating things against the lady. 

She told me that I wanted her out of the house because I had seen that she will soon secure admission into the higher institution, and I will soon begin to pay for her school fees. I couldn’t tell her the truth, because something tells me it will be disastrous. I just felt I could handle the matter in the most professional way.

 But right now, things have gone out of hands since the past 2 weeks. I have done virtually everything that can be considered dirty with her except that I have not done it with her yet. What’s keeping me from doing it is my conscience and for the fact that I can’t do that in my matrimonial home. That sin will be so grievous, I know. She had asked me repeatedly last week if she can meet me in any of the hotels around town this weekend since my wife will be around then. 

She has just Saturday and Sunday to take care of her hair and visit friends, and she wants to use that opportunity to have me all to herself. Now, I’m contemplating on this issue. All I need is your advice; Saturday is just 5 days from today, and I can’t make up my mind on what to do. I love my wife, but I think I’m becoming so foolish in the name of being faithful. Please, tell me; should I do it or not?

 It has gotten to the level where I cannot tell my wife the truth because she won’t even believe, since I had told her a different story before. She will see it as blackmail. Your reaction will either encourage me or discourage me, even though my mind beats faster, and something tells me to do it. Should I?

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"I Have Not Had S**x For 10 Years,Nobody Wants It From Me"

A worried lady decided to throw her question at our readers to help. And your advice may also help Nigerian ladies, who have similar issues. Please be free to write your candid opinion without mincing words.

 I am 36 years old, I work with one of the most reputable banks, heading one of their branches in Lagos. I earn enough to do whatever I wish.

 I am very comfortable, but with no man to call my own. No man has walked up to me in 10 years, none whatsoever. 

I have male friends, but I don’t seem appealing enough to be dated by any of them. 

The last man I had was when I was 26 and that is the last time I ever had s**x. Just a month ago, I met Sam. Sam claims he loves me, but if you ask me, I honestly do not feel a thing for him.

 I don’t even think of him at all throughout a day, but he wants to marry me. This is the first time a guy wants me in 10 years.

 If I don’t marry him, it might take another 10 years for another man to accost me. I am yet to give him an answer. I am utterly confused. I know he loves me, but I don’t love him… I need your Advice, please. 

WHAT SHOULD I DO? 

 Because you care, what will be your advice to this lady?

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ROMANCE: Ten Types Of Women The Guys Love To Date

I’d like to shed some light on something that women have been puzzled about for centuries, and that is the type of women men fall in love with. There have been so many books written on this subject, yet most have not delivered the common sense answers I am going to share with you in this issue of Smart Woman’s Guide Newsletter… Without wasting much time, I will get right to the point. I am going to give you 10 personality attributes that men love to see in the women they fall head over heels in love with. Men are attracted to women that have:

 1. Intelligent – 

This attribute ranks very high, after men have gotten past your looks. Men love women that are smart, opinionated, and articulate. Most enjoy speaking to women who have their own point of view on subjects and are passionate in discussing affairs of the day. Men love to debate, and if you can make them believe, or at least respect, your point of view, then you have a man that will see you as an equal, and not as an ornament to be displayed to the rest of the world until the next best ornament comes his way.

 2. Good Humored –

 If you can laugh at your man’s crude jokes or take his wisecracks, you become someone he wants to get to know better. But if you’re the type that easily gets upset when he jokes about your raggedy hair or sloppy dressing, men will not find your personality as attractive as one who possesses this quality. 

 3. Confident – 

When you have your own opinion and can defend it, are comfortable in your own skin, regardless of your body size or whatever else Mother Nature has thrown your way, then you have what it takes to attract men that will fall head over heels in love with you. 

 4. Supportive –

 Men find it easy to fall in love with women that encourage and support positive undertakings they embark on. Men love women that have the ability to see what they see in the goals they pursue. Men believe that when you support their dreams and goals, you believe in their ability to accomplish those things that are dear to their hearts. And when you support that which is dear to a man’s heart, you essentially have the key to unlock his passionate love for you.

 5. Accommodating – 

When you understand that men are not perfect, and you are able to easily forgive them for their imperfections, then you possess one of the most admirable qualities men seek in their love interest. However, if you are the type that will nitpick every single thing they do or nag them at the drop of a hat, then you will not have a man hanging around you for very long. 

 6. Patient – 

This attribute is quite similar to that in #5. When I speak of patience here, I am referring to a woman’s ability to be in a relationship with a man without pressuring him into making a serious commitment he may not be ready to make. Now understand that there is a way to let a man know that you are interested in settling down, without coming across as desperate or overbearing. Women that show men that they are willing to wait for them to propose a committed relationship are apt to be more attractive to men than those that come across as impatient. 

 7. Sensual –

 A woman that is not sensual is not attractive to any man. To be attractive to a man you must be perceived as someone who is very comfortable with her s**xuality and knows how to initiate s**x spontaneously. If you believe that men should always be the first to make the move when it comes to bedroom and lovemaking matters, you may be doing yourself more harm than good when it comes to your ability to attract men.

 Improve your ability to initiate intimacy, and you will see how much more attractive you will appear to your guy. You can improve in this area tremendously if you are open to what Michael Webb, a bestselling author, reveals in his exciting e-book, “500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets”.

 8. Honest –

 Men find authentic and honest women quite attractive. If you are the type that tells it like you see it, men will find this aspect of your personality very attractive. “Say what you will do and do what you say” ought to be your motto. Just as you respect and love men that tell you the truth no matter what, men feel the same way when they meet a woman that does not waste their time with fibs. In a nutshell, men are attracted to women that are honest and down to earth, women that do not pretend to be who they are not. 

 9. Open-minded – 

The willingness to explore other possibilities, new ideas, etc. is an attribute that men seek in the women they want to love. Being open-minded does not mean that one has to compromise one’s personal convictions, but rather is able to see another point of view and respect it, even if it is not one that you share. 

 10. Health conscious – 

Women that take care of themselves are generally more attractive than those that do not. After all a good physique is the first thing that attracts men, even before they get to know how wonderful and exciting you are. Men are attracted to women that exercise, eat right, take care of their hair, nails, and dress well. To attract the best you must look your best – it is that simple.

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