Etcetera writes Mr. President for Banning small generators(i better pass my neighbor)

Nigeria citizens are dealing with the news that the federal government has banned the importation of small generators generally referred to as "I better pass my neighbour",because despite it's short-comings, it is the cheapest source of reliable power supply they can get. Social commentator and writer, Etcetera, has written to the president and presented some facts to the government on why the ban would affect so many citizens who voted for change. 
Dear President Buhari, I will like to extend an invitation to you for a tour of down town, so that you can have a clear view of what the people who voted you into office feel about certain decisions your government has taken so far, especially the decision to ban ‘I-pass-my-neighbour generator’.
Contrary to the picture your advisers have painted to you, the decision to ban ‘I-pass-my neighbour’ generators will only bring more hardship to the people down here who have never in any way, benefitted from the Nigerian government at any time. The little hope that your “change” mantra brought to the poor man is fast becoming another tale in the book of presidential lies.
So, for you to really understand the ramification of your decision, I urge you to come for a quick tour of down town. Don’t worry sir; it won’t cost you a thing. We will ensure that your visit is as comfortable as we can. Yes, we know you don’t take ‘shepe’ or ‘mishango’ or ‘Ghana root’ mixed with ‘draw-draw’. But don’t worry, we will have enough pure water available for you to cool your feet, wash your face and quench your thirst.
It is true that the streets down here are littered with broken water pipes and heaps of smelly refuse dumps as a result of lack of government presence. But babu wahala, we will see to it that your danshiki doesn’t get so messed up.
It will be nice to have you address the youths and explain to them why you have taken the decision to throw our streets into darkness and expose us to more terror from armed robbers. 
Sir, have you considered the amount of small business operators that will be incapacitated by the ban you have imposed on ‘I-pass-my-neighbour generators’? Come sir, and see for yourself how many families will lose their source of livelihood simply because they cannot afford to purchase the bigger generators.

Sir, what becomes of the barber, the hair dresser, the recharge card seller whose business is run with ‘I-pass-my-neighbour’ generator? Have you considered the difference between N10, 000 generator and a N50, 000 generator? Do you think the people are happy using ‘I-pass-my-neighbour generators? Someone who earns as low as N15, 000 monthly, how do you expect him to buy and maintain a N50, 000 generator?

You should also consider they have other needs. I think this is a wrong move and one that will drive most self-employed youths into armed robbery and other illegal activities.

And ‘I-pass-my-neighbour generator kills? Hmmmm Mr. President, I thought hunger and bad roads have killed more Nigerians than generators? How come you haven’t placed a ban on hunger and bad roads? Is this a part of the “change” we should expect from this regime? Is this one of the groundbreaking ideas given to you by the new minister for power? How do we achieve steady supply of electricity by banning smaller generators?

What I see here sir, is the government favouring the rich against the poor. The importers of bigger generator will no doubt see this as a welcome idea; that is if they didn’t lobby for it. This is one of the most insensitive decisions taken by any Nigerian government. Shouldn’t it be a general ban on generators?

Is it that punishing the poor has become a goal in itself for the government? Too many affluent Nigerians – and, in particular, members of the political elite – seem to have no sense of how much suffering is down here on the streets.

Little wonder the governors woke up one morning and decided that they can no longer pay the N18, 000 minimum wage of workers. For these governors, what is really striking is the total disconnect between conventional wisdom and the reality of life – and death – for much of the nation. It is like there’s a badge of wickedness on the forehead of our politicians.

Sir, what we want is for you politicians to stop talking blithely about the importance of alleviating the sufferings of the masses and truly start looking at the way their less-fortunate citizens live.

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'Buhari’s First Semester Report Card' - Etcetera Writes

 In his latest article, Etcetera grades president Buhari mostly F9 for his 100 days in office. Read below...

We often use benchmarks as measures of progress. ‘How is your favourite football team doing at the beginning of this season?’ ‘How many words does your one-year-old son say in a minute?’ And, of course, there’s the time-honoured measure of how well a new president is doing after 100 days in office. In case you hadn’t heard, that benchmark is here for President Buhari.

You may feel it’s a little impertinent for me to issue a report card for President Buhari on his performance during his first 100 days in office. Yes, I’m not his teacher, and he’s not my student.

But what the heck? It’s a free country and everyone else is doing it. So here it goes:

Confidence:- Buhari has brought back confidence in governance. Especially in tough times, the confident presence of a leader begets confidence in those that he or she leads. With his steady demeanour, optimistic outlook and command, Buhari embodies confidence. The number of incompetent heads of parastatals he has sacked so far reflects that sentiment. The percentage of Nigerians who think the country is on the right track is up. Grade: A1

Pace of Governance:– When the pressure is high, leaders need perspective. They need swift action. Buhari is working on so many things all by himself that it’s sometimes hard to keep track of all of them. He has too much on his plate. He should get into perspective and allow others do the job where he can’t. It won’t be a surprise to discover that the president is in charge of his travel itinerary, meeting schedule and other range of issues on his plate. He runs the risk of edging toward a burn out. Well, some argue that the president is keeping a pace that works for him. Grade: F9

Communications:– Effective leadership communication is outcome oriented and audience specific. President Buhari is clearly not an articulate communicator and he doesn’t do enough to shape his message to the audience. Hearing Mr. President pronounce APC leaves you lost and wondering if you heard him correctly. Maybe his media aides should have used this as an excuse to exonerate him from the hundred things he promised to have achieved before his first 100 days in office that has now capped him as a liar. Buhari’s tone of voice usually stays within a fairly narrow range. He could do better here. Grade: F9

Team Player: – There are two major factors on this distinction. The first is to get a great team in place. The second is to get your ego out of the way and allow the team to do their job. Buhari has stumbled here and most people will agree that his failure to appoint ministers in his first 100 days in office has been a setback to governance. Whether you agree with me or not, Buhari can’t be president and ministers all by himself. We need competent hands to man the various ministries. You cannot achieve a lot in three and half months without the support of a team. Good leaders are the keepers of the what, not the masters of the how. Assembling a strong team also helps in establishing an agenda. Buhari needs to realise that he’ll likely never have more momentum than he has now if he doesn’t put a team on the ground. Grade: F9

Accountability and Responsibility: President Buhari has done fairly well with the campaign for government officials to be held accountable for their actions or inactions. He has brought a sense of transparency and has taken some interesting first steps in promoting government accountability. I think this is an area where there is a lot more to do however. For instant, there hasn’t really been a clear explanation yet as to how he is going to tackle corruption and how the country will avoid being ripped apart by government officials in the years to come. Grade: C

Economy: – This has so far been one of the president’s worst subjects. He may be making a grave mistake focusing all his attention on recouping looted funds instead of providing the basic needs of the people. Never in history has this approach successfully led a country out of recession. This might lead to an unhappy ending, and more inflation. The continuous drop of the nation’s currency is stark reminder that we are still in the worst slump in 50 years. Grade: F9

National Security:- Nigerians are still not experiencing any sense of security. People are dying and getting maimed everyday on the streets by hoodlums and touts. Boko Haram insurgents are still using the yet to be found Chibok girls for their bombings. Armed robbers are having a field day carting away properties. The country is still not safe. Grade: F9

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Naija Girls Can be Very Annoying at Concerts - Etcetera

 Singer turned writer Etcetera writes below...

I was watching entertainment news on TV with a couple of friends and it got to a part where Tuface was on stage performing and a girl who probably was as drunk as a skunk, dragged herself on the stage and started hugging him and even took off her shirt . What is actually wrong with Naija babes at concerts? How do you expect your boyfriend to feel watching his girlfriend on national TV jumping around Tuface on stage like a chimpanzee wearing just a bra and with boobs wobbling from side to side?

Well, Tu-baba surely didn’t mind. He probably would have grabbed at those bouncy boobs if it wasn’t a concert. Twale Baba!!!

Here are some of the annoying things Naija babes do at concerts.

Taking pictures the entire show: I get it. You want to show all your friends on Facebook and Twitter that you were at the concert. Fine. Take a photo. Take five if you want. But please, don’t take 1000! You always manage to hold your camera right in my line of sight. You don’t even look like you’re enjoying the show while you’re doing this. All your attention is on the pictures you are taking. And you know what? Those pictures are all going to look like nonsense, every single one of them. You’re too far away from the stage. You’ll probably never even look at them. Also, you see those guys right in front of the stage with the giant cameras? They’re taking great professional pictures. There’s really no need for yours.

Taking pictures the entire show: I get it. You want to show all your friends on Facebook and Twitter that you were at the concert. Fine. Take a photo. Take five if you want. But please, don’t take 1000! You always manage to hold your camera right in my line of sight. You don’t even look like you’re enjoying the show while you’re doing this. All your attention is on the pictures you are taking. And you know what? Those pictures are all going to look like nonsense, every single one of them. You’re too far away from the stage. You’ll probably never even look at them. Also, you see those guys right in front of the stage with the giant cameras? They’re taking great professional pictures. There’s really no need for yours.

Checking Facebook, Twitter and Instagram every couple of minute Unless you’re a surgeon who’s expecting an emergency call or message, everything can wait. Live in the moment. Enjoy the show. You paid gate fee to be here. You can tweet your friends when you get home. Also, your fake China phone emits a very harsh and distracting light. For the love of God, turn the damn thing off!

Incessantly talking to your friends: You might not like whatever song is playing. You may be bored with the show in general. You may have been dragged here by your boyfriend against your will. But you’ve been talking all through the entire show, and I can hear everything you are saying. It’s driving me crazy. Please shut the hell up! I can’t tell you how many shows I attend where the girls in front of me are yelling in each other’s ear the entire night. Not only is my sightline blocked when their cheap wigs or weave-on come together, but I can hear their gossip. Take your chit-chat to one of the food vendor’s shed and stay there till the show is over, or go spread a wrapper under that pawpaw tree and lie down and talk till morning. I don’t care. Just shut up so I can enjoy the show. 

 Yelling out requests: ‘Yaaay, I want Styl-plus to play “Imagine That”’. Hey girls, imagine if you shut up and stop screaming in my ear; most of the time, the song list is pre-determined, and they can’t even hear you from up there. They’re going to play what they’re going to play. Just go along for the ride. Damn it! 5.

Yelling out the names of the artiste on stage: This is another level of irritation. This has never been funny. Maybe it was cool in the 80s. Now, it’s just madness.

Pushing your way to the front: If a concert is general admission, the people in front earned their spots. They got there early and laid claim to their space. The people all the way in front might have even spent all day waiting by the doors, so when the show begins and you shove your way to the front, you’re being a huge distraction. Don’t do that. If you show up late and there’s only room in the back, you’ve just have to deal with it.

Getting so drunk you puke: Girls these days drink like sharks. You see them at Felaberation smoking igbo even more than TerryG. I feel sorry for those who have to clean up the venue after the concerts. I can imagine the types of vomit and stench they have to clean up.

Loudly complaining after the show because the artiste didn’t play your favourite song: This is actually one of the crazy things we see after each concert. Babes, try to enjoy the show you’re getting as opposed to the one you wish you were seeing. Besides, haven’t you heard “Kukere” and “Shoki” enough?

Filming the entire show on your mobile phone: This distracts people even worse than taking pictures, and usually results in an equally horrid product. The sad irony is that people tend to film their favourite songs, but the smiles on their faces are gone when all their concentration goes into capturing these moments on film. Next morning, Instagram will be cluttered with crappy cell phone videos of every song from the concert. Stop tagging me to these crappy videos. I was at the concert for Christ sake! You paid good money to see a show, and you’re joylessly watching it through a tiny screen on your mobile phone. It just doesn’t make any sense.

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God Won’t Listen to Nigerian Songs - Etcetera Writes

 Controversial writer Etcetera, says God won't listen to Nigerian songs and thinks most Nigerian artistes are confused and bewildered. He says Nigerian artistes sing meaningless songs and that those who listen to Nigerian songs need to ask themselves why. Read below...

“Shoki hey hey Shoki!” cries a voice from the radio to the beat of a nerve-wracking pandemonium that seems designed to drive you insane.

A quick flick of the dial and “Shakiti bobo” is playing. The worse thing is that the raucous noise emitted by the artiste is no match for the loud, odious din coming from the beat. The lyrics are completely lost – which may not be regrettable to some – but the whole tumult sounds more like bad static than music.

I tuned the dial again. This time it was Olamide screaming “VANESSA VANESSA.”

As the last strains of the song died away, the OAP cheerfully and enthusiastically breaks in, “Yes, that’s for all you listeners out there. That’s the way we do it right here at your cool station. We personalise our playlist to make you feel cool.”

Cool kor, cooler ni…. I felt like telling the OAP that his choice of songs made me feel SICK. 

This is simply today’s Nigerian music! Something is terribly WRONG with it! Yet millions around the country – especially the young people – listen to it by the hour. WHY?

What is there about this music that is so gripping? How can something so meaningless hold millions under its spell? Why does it serve as a common denominator – as “the tie that binds” – for so many youths?

Judging from how and what they’re saying and singing, it is easy to conclude that some of these artistes should be taken for mental evaluation! Music mirrors our emotions; it reflects our thoughts; it echoes our activities – it shows us the way we really ARE!

Most Nigerian artistes are confused and bewildered – or they wouldn’t sing songs about not being able to tell right from wrong, or songs which purposely don’t say or mean anything, or which try only to “embody an emotional state that points indirectly to marijuana and crazy sex positions.”

Music – just like other forms of art – is like a social barometer. A strong and healthy society produces dynamic and stimulating music; a diseased and decaying society produces sick and decadent music.

It’s a simple matter of cause and effect!

This is now a SICK SOCIETY and, therefore, it produces SICK MUSIC. It’s just that simple! Both parents and the young people are to blame. My point is, we all don’t have to be a part of this sick society – or its sick music.

Even talking about today’s gospel songs, many are lacking in purpose and quality. The gospel singers are forgetting that God believes in QUALITY. Look at the universe He created! He also believes in human improvement and GROWTH. “Become ye therefore perfect” (Matt. 5:48) and “Grow in grace and knowledge” (II Pet. 3:18), He commands.

God wants His people to grow in the right kind of culture – the right kind of appreciation for the finer things in life. He says that mature Christians are “those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to DISCERN both good and evil” (Heb. 5:14).

God wants us to EXERCISE our five physical senses. He wants us to learn what the true values for the enjoyment of the senses are. One of these senses is hearing. And one of the ways we need to exercise our hearing sense is in the appreciation of quality music. Quality in music involves, first of all, the way it is composed or arranged. Secondly, it involves how the music is performed. And thirdly, the setting (the place and occasion) in which the music is heard.

You attend a concert only to see artistes with a hodgepodge of idiotic noise played from a CD and the audience seated at round tables like they are in a canteen, screaming with mouthful of small chops and ‘samosas’ as every new song is introduced by the performer. What utter nonsense! What is WRONG with us? How did we completely lose our sense of value regarding music? Do we even know the purpose of music?

A mother justifies her daughter who’s listening to an obscene song by saying,  

“If you listen to the words of that one, it’s pretty rough. But it has a real good beat. My daughter says she doesn’t pay any attention to the words anyway.” Are we really that naïve? 

What erroneous reasoning! Go along with the crowd – even if the crowd is on the way to suffering, misery, pain, extinction? Do we think that these songs have no part in the tidal wave of promiscuity, venereal disease, illegitimate babies that are all over the country today? If you are one of those who like today’s Naija music, you ought to honestly and truthfully ask yourself WHY.

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Ladies, Why Men Cheat - Etcetera explains

 Singer turned write Etcetera explains why Nigerian men cheat using Toke Makinwa's situation.

When you heard the news that Toke Makinwa’s husband impregnated his girlfriend, you all took to social media to rain insults on Nigerian men. Why men cheat on women they love became a topic for all female radio presenters in the country.

Aren’t you all tired of asking the same question over and over as if it is some perplexing unfathomable mystery? 

Your question is rhetorical, but since it keeps coming up again and again, let me provide some explanations to help you understand the reasons. I will simply tell it like it is, with 

no bull, tact, or political correctness. 

It’s just that oftentimes; women do not accept the explanations. But in fact, one can understand it through common sense. Sometimes a man would cheat on his wife or girlfriend because he doesn’t love her anymore; he is bored with her, or even possibly unhappy with their relationship. 

In such scenarios, even women can become unfaithful as well. Women must understand that men are fundamentally different from them and wired differently too. We all know this but feminists try to suppress or deny this universal fact. A man craves variety and seeks novelty, while women prefer familiarity. Men will naturally desire variety when it comes to romantic/sexual partners more than women will. Men easily get bored by the same thing every day or a routine and we are sometimes afraid to voice this. 

Think about this. You ate your favourite eba and egusi soup, and on the second day that you ate it, the pleasure would be noticeably less than the first day. And after a week of eating it, you’d get tired of it and start to strongly desire to eat something else. Your desire for that eba will have diminished at that point. 

I know what you are thinking now, “You can’t compare food with people” right? That’s the typical female reaction to this analogy. However, I’m sorry to say that this analogy does apply because it’s one of the best and simplest ways that it can be explained. 

I am not trying to objectify people. But by accepting such an analogy, it will start making sense to you that men are more visually stimulated than women are. And when a man relies on visual stimulation for arousal, the stimulation wears off at some point, which then requires new stimulation from new women. Got the drift? In other words, visual stimulation is a sensual thing that is fleeting in nature and requires constant variety in order to maintain the stimulation. Thus, men who seek visual stimulation will require variety from more than one partner or lover. 

Women often argue that “true love” never gets old. But the notion of “true love” is indefinable, very personable, and highly subjective. And even for the sake of this argument, if we agree that “true love” never gets old and never wears out, that still doesn’t change what we’re talking about here. 

You see, even if a man has true everlasting unending love for his woman, he can STILL desire another woman he fancies. That’s what our women have to understand, rather than cling to naïve clichés of society. A woman’s heart tends to be able to love only one man at a time, a man’s heart is different and can truly love MORE THAN ONE woman at a time. This might be hard for you to accept, and unfathomable to your values and beliefs about “love.” But it is the truth. 

A man’s heart is molded differently with multiple chambers that enable him to love and desire multiple women. It’s like a tree with different branches, rather than just one. Men usually won’t admit it, because our society doesn’t accept this, but condemns it. 

Ladies, to understand this, think about all the different colours you love. You love pink and sky blue, or red, blue, black and purple. Now, can you like more than one colour at a time? Of course you can! You like the different colours in different ways, on different things, and for the different ambiance and mood that each colour accentuates, right? Likewise, you can like more than one type of cuisine right? Can you like Chinese and Italian foods at the same time? Of course you can. Even if society said you could only like one type of cuisine, it wouldn’t make a difference, would it? After all, society may attempt to create mutually exclusivities, but reality doesn’t. 

These are painfully obvious examples, and I am not arguing that people are like colours or food, but such simple analogies do describe what’s going on inside those who love more than one person or like having many lovers. Just because a man tells more than one woman that he “loves her,” desires her, or has feelings for her, does NOT make him a “playboy” or “liar.” 

He is not necessarily “playing” in terms of acting, nor does it mean he is using people in some sort of pretend “game” where he doesn’t care about their feelings. These are just false judgements by the society especially a feminist or female dominated society like Nigeria is fast becoming. 

To some women, it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t fit their definition of love and loyalty. But it’s the truth. That’s reality and you’ve got to accept it if you want to try to understand it. Not all men unequivocally attach loyalty to true love. Society might do so, but not all human beings do. What women have to understand is that being in a loving relationship does NOT automatically erase one’s desire for other people. 

Of course, men who have multiple partners often do have to lie to the women they romance, by telling them that they are the only one when confronted with the issue. So that is one area in which men commonly lie. However, it doesn’t make them dishonest people in general. It’s just that since most women cannot accept that their partner can pursue someone else beside them, demanding total monogamy in love; men with multiple desires for multiple women are FORCED to lie in order to prevent chaos and failure in courtship. There is no easy way around it. And that is the case even if they are generally honest men. (After all, who hasn’t lied? Everyone has at one time or another, so stop pretending to be an angel!) 

Loving or desiring multiple women has nothing to do with right or wrong, or being good or bad. It is simply a lifestyle and often these men are simply expressing who they are. Thus, infidelity does not make a man “bad” in a moral sense. Often, these men who romance multiple women are tender, caring, good-hearted, loving, nurturing people. Some are even deeply spiritual or religious. 

He doesn’t love you? My dear, the line between love and lust is blurry and subject to personal opinion. There is no universal objective measuring stick for differentiating between “love” (which has so many different meanings anyway) and “lust.”

 In reality, a man can find the perfect woman, who outshines the rest in his life, and can even have a perfect relationship with her, but still look at another woman he finds attractive and desires to court her, romance her, and experience the wonders and pleasures of her femininity as well. 

Some men get a “high” or adrenaline rush from courting, romancing, or seducing new women, in a way that nothing else can, and thus are addicted to it. 

My ladies, there are no perfect solutions or answers to everything. Just accept that some things in life are just meant to be endured, not fixed or solved like an equation. 

To be continued next week.

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Is Buhari already Confused? - Etcetera

 Singer turned writer Etcetera writes on President Buhari and the few weeks he's spent in office as president. Read below...

If there is any group of individuals who can manufacture shock, political punditry out of nothing, it is the All Progressives Congress. They cried out that Jonathan was doing a terrible job as President of Nigeria. They said his inability to run the Federal Government is the reason our country has lapsed into wholesale chaos. He is the reason corruption decimated our population, turned brother against brother. He is the reason our military became weak and our borders constantly breached by Niger, Chad and Cameroonian gendarmes.

 He is the reason our cities have all lost power and we have reclined back into the dark ages. He is the reason why thousands of wild dogs/Boko Haram roam our streets and rip our children apart. With democracy being an institution where we worry about how many people ‘agree’ about certain things, APC must be concerned that Nigerians are actually seeing that Buhari is not the messiah we need. When I wrote that Nigerians shouldn’t celebrate Buhari yet, a lot of his sympathisers reached for my scalp with all types of derogatory vocabularies. 

Now, just a couple of days into his regime and even before the flag is hoisted up the pole, the same people have started singing the same old song that he is too slow. Just like in the time of Jonathan. Why am I not surprised? When I talked about Buhari’s age, they said presiding over the affairs of a country is different from being a bricklayer. Why is Buhari now wishing he was younger? What has “changed” him? Didn’t he know his age before “borrowing” money to acquire the form to contest for president?

Listening to APC and President Buhari’s excuses of just being in government for only few weeks is like watching a doctor on ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ pounding on a patient’s chest until another doctor has to pull him off and say, ‘Sir it’s over!’ That’s what I want to say to President Buhari. Sir, it’s over! We are tired of having president with excuses. You didn’t give us these excuses in any of your campaign speeches. Nigerians, it’s time to move on! There will be other disasters. There will always be presidents with excuses.

The president will cut down the cost of governance. He won’t have as many ministers and advisers like Jonathan. How is approving the appointments of two media aides with the same job description cutting down the cost of governance? What is the difference between a Senior Special Assistant (Media and Publicity) and a Special Adviser (Media and Publicity)?

The issue of applying the rule of law in certain matters of state that demands immediate and urgent attention is not why we voted for Buhari. For Christ’s sake, the country is in dire straits. We are in desperate times as a country and as such, the streets won’t accept these excuses. President Buhari shouldn’t be telling Nigerians that he met an empty treasury. We want to hear of measures his government is taking to recover the stolen funds. This government seems overwhelmed and confused already like what we’ve had in the past.

He should also understand that not having his cabinet in place at this point in time is dangerous. President Buhari should know that he can’t govern this country alone. It will take all hands on deck to get this country back on track. He cannot be the president and the minister of defence and petroleum all by himself. He can’t be at different places at the same time. Being the president of a huge country like Nigeria is different from being the managing director of a business.

One does not “run” the Federal Government. You can run a train and you can run your own small business, but the Federal Government of Nigeria is bigger than the largest enterprises of this world.

Equating any portion of the Federal Government to a business stretches the meaning of metaphor. No business is attacked by other countries or has to deliberately kill people, or has a board of 469 National Assembly members, majority of which are trying to bankrupt the company in order to make the CEO look bad, nor does any company operate within transparency of allowing thousands of journalists to pore over their affairs, or carry your opponent’s opinions as if they were facts, or react to hundreds of lawsuits per day from its own employees, or thousands of lawsuits per day from third parties. No private company is responsible for accomplishing its mission within tens of thousands of laws that deliberately operate against its efficiency.

No private company has a board that authorises spending via commitment of financial resources and then separately approves their payment or its equivalent debt. No business operates from the need to pass legislation in order to change direction, or to accomplish its primary objectives, (environmental safety, energy independence, internet security, university research, election compliance, full employment policies, taxation reform, anti-terrorism, healthcare reform, and intelligence gathering). No organisation has the responsibility to send soldiers to defend its allies or be responsive to the impact that changed laws, policies, and tax provisions have upon other nations, friend and foe alike. And finally, no organisation is responsible for administration and enforcement of tens of thousands of laws, rules, and regulations against millions of separate entities.

Is President Buhari capable of providing direction, implementing a NASS approved budget, prioritising and recommending budget changes, negotiating legislation, submitting qualified candidates for the courts, appointing and supervising staff and cabinet members, including the joint chiefs of the military, and effectively communicating volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous issues to the Nigerian public? Absolutely, NO!

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How To Please A Nigerian Man - By Etcetera

Etcetera is back again and this time he comes for the ladies.He has taken out time to help Nigeria woman understand their men.He give tips to the ladies on how to please Nigeria men. Read below:

Is something wrong with the Nigerian woman? Has she lost her beauty and power of seduction? How come Nigerian billionaires and politicians are all of a sudden having preference for foreign women? Or has the money syndrome finally caught up with them?…… Oops! Did you say it’s about time? Hmmm maybe Nigerian men are difficult to satisfy like some of our ladies have claimed. But is that the appropriate excuse? Well, for any woman who truly knows her onions, pleasing a man (whether a Nigerian or not) is never a difficult feat. So ladies, here are some insights to a Nigerian man’s heart that will guide you to becoming the right woman in his eyes. 

Submission has got a bad rap in recent years. The feminist movement has even made matters worse. Women are forgetting that submission wasn’t your man’s idea, it was God’s. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) Again the Word says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18). Men should also know that submission does not mean subjection to abuse. Submission simply implies respect for another’s authority.

Ok sweerie, the premiership ends this weekend. You can now have the remote control from Monday morning. Watch as much telemundo and your Nollywood movies as you can from now till August. Nigerian ladies should understand that the key to a harmonious family life is finding that balance. Your man may not be a professional footballer and probably may not go to the field and play every Saturday, but if you don’t disturb him whenever he is watching his favourite team play on TV, he will love you more. Remember that by learning to love and support his team, you are creating a deeper bond between the two of you. Be on his side, root for his team, celebrate his victories, mourn his defeats. Even the Bible commands us to “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” (Romans 12:15) lol…

Every Nigerian man loves food. I mean the actual food. There’s no such thing as a modern or old fashion way. A way is a way and the only way to a typical African man’s heart has always been through his stomach. Coming home from a long day’s work, we enjoy nothing better than a well cooked meal. Remember the story of Esau in the Bible? He was so hungry and was practically shaking after working in the fields that he was willing to sell his birthright to his brother Jacob for a hot bowl of soup! (Genesis 25:29-34). Ladies, when a Nigerian man is not properly fed, he becomes irrational, irritable and vulnerable to temptation. Feed us well not just for anything else, but so you may have peace in the house…. lol

Now ladies, ask any Nigerian man to choose between a delicious plate of soup and no sex or a tasteless meal and a mind-blowing sex, he will prefer to drink garri without sugar and have that mind-blowing encounter with you in bed. Does that tell you something? Babes, you may be everything from smart, charming with long pretty legs and even God-fearing but if your husband doesn’t find you sexually attractive, SHIKENA. A Nigerian man always wants that thing. So, stop holding back whenever he wants it. Adopt the Boy Scout motto that says “always be prepared.” Stop using your sexuality to manipulate or punish him. Our greatest vulnerability is our sexuality, so don’t just go there – No games with that please. Give yourself to him freely every time, every way and everywhere. The Bible commands you, “Deprive not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5). Did you hear that? It says even after fasting, you should still give it to him…. Hmmmmm! I love the Bible. No wonder they call it the “perfect book.”

All men want to be successful. But it is so unfortunate that most Nigerian women measure success by what a man has accomplished and not by who he is as a person. It is the role of the woman to help her man see the big picture in life, not through the eyes of someone who wants to purchase every latest trend in fashion, mobile phones and cars. The good book of the lord says, “Better is the poor (man) who walks in his integrity than one perverse in his ways, though he be rich.” (Proverbs 28:6). So, ladies, always let your man know when he is doing a good job. Praise him for his patience with words like, “I really appreciate that you helped me with the dishes today.” “Thanks so much for emptying the dustbin; I appreciate you honey, even in the small things.” Note that a little compliment to a Nigerian man every now and again works like magic.

Nigerian men are driven by the need for significance. We often ask ourselves this question, “Do I really matter to her?” A man’s thirst for significance can only be quenched in knowing how important he is. That is why we will chase after every vain pursuit only to hear the words, “You matter. You are important. You are appreciated. You are significant.” If a man never heard these words or sensed this approval from his woman, he can spend his whole life chasing someone else who will value his identity.

Support your man at every turn. Be there for him to guide him. This is God’s command for you as the woman. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18). A man needs help in the small things like finding our car keys or in bigger things like building a business. It has become one of the most popular sayings that “behind every great man is a far greater woman.”

With men, two plus two is always four. We are a straight-jacket mind species. Maybe it is so because we have always found solace in being logical. And it has proved to be a sure way one can maintain stability in the home, especially in times of uncertainty or danger. But it is clear that men most times lack that natural intuitiveness found in women. Which makes it important, that whenever your man is about to strike a business deal, he needs your input because he might not understand that deep gut feeling you have that something is not right. For a man, if it looks good “on paper,” it is good even when in your heart of hearts, you can smell something foul brewing. Your man needs your intuitive, instinctive, perceptive and discerning insights when making decisions. But as his woman, you should be careful so as not to bruise his ego.

A man is not molded to understand the emotional and dynamics behind the problems that women face. So it is important that the woman doesn’t go running and pouring all her cares, worries, fears, insecurities and troubles on him all at once, it can be very overwhelming. If it is your car that is making that funny noise or something in the house is broken, YESSSSS! he knows exactly what to do instantly. Every man requires that extra training to be a good listener and you will have to working at it until he is there. You can simply start by asking him to listen to you for one minute without interruption and gradually build up his tolerance level. If you throw a fifteen-minute monologue at him, he will freeze up, walk away or get annoyed. Make things simple for him. Spell out exactly what you need, even if it is just a simple hug (and you may want to also explain to him that a hug does not mean you want to have sex!)… because e nor dey hard us to conclude.

lol…

Every man wants to come home to a peaceful house after a long day at work. But our women don’t always permit such a luxury. We want tranquility and control in every aspect of our lives; that is why we sometimes do everything possible to create an atmosphere of peace and serenity. It is also why every man dreads a nagging woman. A nagging woman drains us of body vitamins and morale. If you nag your man, he will distance himself emotionally and possibly even physically. The Bible says, “It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” (Proverbs 25:24).

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Buhari should not be Sworn in with the Quran - Etcetera Says

 Singer turned writer Etcetera doesn't think Buhari should swear with the Quran. Read his reasons below...

A lot of Nigerians do not know that Nigeria is a secular state and they are also not aware that the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria does not require that Buhari take his oath of office by swearing with the Quran. The drafters of the constitution made it crystal clear that any Nigerian of any faith or no faith can hold any office. It would have been very easy for the constitution drafters to include it in our constitution that the president should be sworn in with the Quran. But they didn’t. In other words, placing a hand on a Quran while reciting the presidential oath is simply a tradition that is not backed by the constitution. Meaning, it is absolutely unnecessary.

On Friday May 29, the Constitution requires that Buhari gives this oath of office: “I, Muhammadu Buhari, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution.” So, why should Buhari swear with a Quran? Why shouldn’t he place his hand on the Nigerian Constitution- the very document he’s promising to “preserve, protect and defend?”

There’s is a gargantuan barrier between religion and state and Buhari should demonstrate that he recognises this fact by taking his oath of office with his hand on the constitution instead of the Quran. His loyalty should be to the nation’s laws above all else.

A lot of people will argue that Buhari swearing with the Quran ensures that he adheres to his oath. But let’s be truthful to ourselves: We have seen elected officials swear to uphold the laws of our country with their hands on the Quran and go on to steal billions of naira and break laws like crazy. It all comes down to the individual’s moral code, not a few seconds oath.

My objection is not only against the Quran. I would hold the same view if it were the Bible, the Book of Mormon or any other religious scripture. The drafters of the constitution made it clear that the Nigerian Constitution, “shall be the supreme law of the land.” It is the living legacy they bestowed upon us. It is the framework for our government. And as such, that’s the document our president should place his hand on. It should be clear to us on May 29 that the president views the Constitution as our nation’s alpha and omega. As a matter of fact, your religion doesn’t matter when you are taking a position in office because religion has nothing to do with running a country.

I personally think that being sworn in with any kind of religious testament is a waste of time and useless. A lot of people in the out-going government were sworn in with the Bible but did they deliver any of the things they promised the country?

To some people, it doesn’t matter whether the president-elect is sworn in with the Quran. They’re probably used to seeing it happen. We just take it for granted that it is the way things have always been done, but it doesn’t necessarily make it right. In my opinion, any elected leader in any secular country like ours is voted in to represent everyone in that country. So why not swear with a document that means something to everyone, such as the constitution? Wouldn’t that make more sense, instead of swearing with a religious document that only represents a chunk of the population? Imagine if a Juju priest was elected President, would it be okay for him to be sworn in with ‘sango, orunmila or amadioha’ or some other work written about atheism? Would it be okay for an ogboni president to be sworn in with the ogboni book of sacred covenant? I am a Catholic and I believe completely in not swearing with the Bible because there are multiple religions in the country and swearing with a Bible will not cause the sacred binding to the truth if the person swearing does not share a religion with the Bible. The Bible does not have the same meaning to every person. So it shouldn’t be counted as a true binding document.

Finally, we shouldn’t also forget that oath taking of any kind is absolutely forbidden by the Bible:

“But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” – Matthew 5:34-37

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Nobody Should Celebrate Buhari - Etcetera

 By singer turned writer, Etcetera. Read below...

 Why are we dancing? Why do we keep rolling out the drums each time we have a new government, only for us to start crying few months down the line? Is it that we are too quick to forget or we just love to dance? Do you celebrate a child who’s about to write his exams or the one who has written and passed? What is this jubilation for? Because I really don’t understand. Is it that the election of Buhari in itself has suddenly alleviated our sufferings? I am really confused here, hearing how six bikers lost their lives in Zaria celebrating Buhari’s victory. One would think that a people who have been shortchanged for so long by past presidents will know better to be calm and take every word of the new president with a pinch of salt until he proves to be different.

 This process is becoming an unending circle, again and again we’ve danced and again and again, we’ve cursed and cried at the end. It is still shocking to me that a lot of Nigerians fell for the story that the president was born without shoes. Was anyone born with shoes on? Buhari’s triumphant entry into the presidency last Sunday which coincidentally was a palm Sunday doesn’t yet prove he is the redeemer. Just like the second coming of our supposed political messiah Obasanjo didn’t prove any significant improvement in our lives.

We all thought he was the one anointed by the gods to take us by the hands and lead us right straight into the promised land, where we shall have no more gnashing of teeth. But when he left office, the roads were still as bad as they were before he took office. The hospitals were still without facilities and most importantly, he failed to defeat the demon in the power sector even with billions of dollars thrown at it. The demons in the same power sector have claimed Jonathan just like they did Yar’Adua, Abdulsalami Abubakar, Sanni Abacha, Shonekan, IBB and Shagari. Even Buhari himself had already been defeated by this demon before. So what says it is not going to be the same this time around. Remember obasanjo was defeated twice by this same demon.

Why won’t our leaders take us for granted when they’ve noticed that we are always ready to jump to our feet and “judile” with the announcement of every new regime? When Buhari overthrew the democratically elected government of Shehu Shagari in 1983, many of you reading this took to the streets to boogie down. When Babangida sent Buhari packing a couple of months later, a lot more of you got drunk and vomited all over the place. Even Abacha’s sudden death brought smiles on the faces of most bar owners across the country as they ran out of booze. Is something wrong with us as a people? We are forgetting a very important fact that this election proves that we are and will still remain a divided people. We are divided by our ideologies with no realistic integration in sight. The election has also reinforced the thinking that we are divided by regional, tribal and religious interests and not national. These are some of the significant issues that will define our tomorrow.

Finally, some of you who are reading this may be saying, oh Etcetera, can’t you be optimistic for once? My brother, I can’t. Optimism and its younger brother, hope have proven to be very dangerous especially in Nigeria. They have sent millions of Nigerians to their early graves. What is the point of being optimistic in a system that has always left me in tears and heartache? Or is it till I get arrested by Mr. Cardiac? Tufiakwa!

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Etcetera Blasts Nigerian Women Wearing Body Magic And Wonder Bra

 Singer turned writer Etcetera is back again and this time, he has a word or two  for Nigerians ladies that wear body magic and wonder bras. Read below....

Those women who wear simple and proper undergarments, this article is not about you. It is for those women who are confused and concerned and are leaning toward spending their hard-earned money on a magic garment that is being peddled as if it can solve all that ail them, only to be sorely disappointed.

 Every eight seconds, a woman looks in the mirror and wants to be smaller. I have a huge problem with this type of women.

 Whenever I meet people who pretend to be what they are not, it gets under my skin. When you present yourself as something, you’re asking me to trust you are exactly what you say you are. Why would you then abuse the trust you asked for with the goal of winning my heart? That is not fair. A friend of mine introduced me to a very hot chic at a bar in Ikeja and after hours of hanging out and getting to know each other, she followed me home. All I could think about was what she’d look like under all those tight clothes, but when she finally grunted her way out of those really tight jeans and her body began to spread in all directions, I suddenly had a headache and didn’t feel so well and I gave her cab fare home.

I mean, is this body magic thing for-real? It is ridiculous. To think that someone would honestly wear it instead of putting the time and effort into actually losing the extra pounds should be a personal embarrassment. It’s really gone past pathetic. The extreme to which our women are going to capture an image of beauty that is neither holistic, healthy nor attractive is crazy. It seems so strange that some ladies complain about not being able to find sincere, honest and real men when everything about them is synthetic, processed and unreal. Ladies, let me sell you a clue. If you find a man, any man, who seems to be attracted to women who have certain physical attributes like fake hair, fake nails, fake round bum-bum, fake flat stomach, fake eyelashes and fake breasts, odds are he’s a fake man. So if that’s what you’re looking for (fake men), then that’s cool. Leave the ‘real’ men to the ‘real’ women. If my girl had to undress and all of a sudden picked up 8 to 10 pounds merely by taking off her corset, the attraction would have ended immediately. Because it is a fraud and I don’t get myself involved with fraudulent people. What worries me most is, how do you as a lady guard your emotions from the reaction you will inevitably receive when that look of shock and disdain appears on the face of your man after he sees those parts you’ve been hiding under that body magic? If you find yourselves that undesirable, why would you expect a man to find you desirable?

Let’s look at this thing called body magic and the falsity around it. It makes you feel you have dropped three dress sizes right? Which basically means you’ll shave off about three inches of fat in ten minutes, firm up your abs, and boom, you’ve lost all the extra weight. Yes girlfriend, a body magic can reshape you. Wearing a corset can change your bust-line, by raising the breasts upwards and shaping them, flattening the stomach, and improving posture. However, these effects are only temporary and will be lost on removing the corset. Indeed, excessive corset wearing has been claimed to weaken certain muscles, making it more difficult to maintain your shape. Another thing a body magic can’t do is make a mound of fat disappear. Using a body magic for this purpose does nothing except shift mass fat into a place it originally was not supposed to be. Think about it, if fat was supposed to be buried deeper into your body, then guess what? God would have put it there. It’s stored on the outermost parts of your frame for a reason. Squeezing into a body magic and hoping it’s going to help permanently hide whatever flaws your body may have is a joke. And for Christ’ sake, the thing is so uncomfortable and tight, that it makes you unable to breathe or ease yourself when pressed.

I am really sad that our ladies don’t talk about healthy eating or exercise anymore. Body magic is a temporary fix at best and deceitful for that matter. Ladies, let’s be truthful here, if you met a guy who was wearing a muscle garment and once he took his shirt off, he was all flab underneath, won’t you be very disappointed? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with a woman using the garment in the process of losing weight and wanting to look toned down after childbirth. What I have issues with is the fact that we in this country are all about the quick fix. I think we should know that looking good is not just about hiding the body fat. And wait a minute, I know some of you may actually think that you don’t have to stop eating your favourite fatty foods, because your body magic will force you right back in shape. You forget the fact that those foods are unhealthy and lack proper nutrition for the body. You also forget that those are the same foods that got you in a physically unfit figure in the first place. Forget the fact that those foods aren’t going to help you maintain that figure. Should you magically obtain it, you don’t want to sacrifice and take pains to exercise. Doesn’t it surprise you that the garment is called body magic, like abracadabra? It can give you all you want and you don’t have to sacrifice at all. My dear, nothing works that easy.

Why not work harder to achieve a permanent figure you are craving for? It must be hard, or down right depressing to walk around looking fine most of the day, and then having to take off the fine body suit and look at the undesired one at night. It’s like you are trying to fool yourself and others. Eventually, you’re going to have to face the ‘fat’. Remember when you take off that body magic, gravity takes over! And no man wants to buy an illusion. We all want the real thing. It’s just sad that some Nigerian women are so hell bent on instant gratification. It would be beautiful to see you ladies embrace yourselves as you are. If you run like a rat, smell like a rat and look like a rat, then guess what girlfriend, you are a rat.

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''Nigerian Pastors Need To Be Born Again''(READ)

 Popular singer turned writer Etcetera is back again. This time with a dig at pastors. Yea, pastors, am sure you must thinking no one is safe now...lol.

 But first read and let us know if you agree with his views...

''Verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born of water and of the spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, ye must be born again” (John 3:1-7). 

Pastors are supposed to be the conscience of the society. They are supposed to be God’s representatives here on earth. Like Elisha in the Bible, they are supposed to warn the people about the dangers of disobeying God and guide them to the path of righteousness. They are supposed to lead by example. 

Today, some pastors are the problems of the society. The lifestyle of some pastors is 

contradictory to what they preach. It has got so bad that when a man introduces himself as a pastor, he attracts immediate suspicion. Scandals and controversies have eaten too deep into the church like an incurable cancer.

  

Like electric poles, churches are springing up all over the country and their general overseers or CEOs are fast emerging as the richest men in the country. Some Nigerian pastors represent their stomach instead of Christ. Churches have been turned into banks and business centres with branch pastors given targets for increased turnover by headquarters. Most of these new breed churches only preach prosperity because preaching salvation will impact negatively on the church’s GDP. Some of today’s pastors, after their failed attempts at finding a means of livelihood, hire a classroom and start a church. 

Most Nigerians have been brainwashed to see their pastors as angels of light instead of the men of lies and hypocrisy they truly are. When I hear some of our so-called men of God talking, I hear a well rehearsed speech delivered with sugarcoated tongue. I see feigned sympathy and fake listening ears trying to milk their unfortunate audience. I see people being washed, rinsed, dried and ironed with rehearsed miracles wooing gullible Nigerians to their churches. 

To some pastors, the church is no longer the stairway to heaven. It is more like the Lagos-Ibadan expressway to wealth. No trick is too dirty to enslave their followers. While many in their congregation cannot afford three decent meals in a day, pastors convey offerings to their banks in bullion vans. They use offerings to build schools their congregation cannot afford to send their wards to. They cruise about town in their exotic cars, and jet off to spend vacations in the most exotic tourist destinations across the world. 

Jesus Christ fed the multitude with five loaves of bread and two fishes (Matthew 14: 13-21). He could have auctioned it to the wealthy and more privileged amongst the multitude but he asked his disciples to share to all without discrimination. Except for a few, the majority of pastors will not lift a finger to ease the sufferings of the poor in their congregation. 

It was in the news how two girls from an Abuja church openly accused their pastor of having sexual intercourse with them and his followers said, “Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm.” A popular Lagos pastor has married and divorced more times than the randy king of Swaziland and his followers said, “Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm.” I wonder what a pastor who cannot keep his marriage has to tell his members during their marriage counselling classes. A popular UK based Nigerian pastor who was to be arrested for tax evasion in the UK, fled to Nigeria to escape the authorities and his followers said, “Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm.” A flamboyant pastor in Warri bought a jet when people in his community were displaced as a result of one of the worst flood disasters to hit this country. And his followers said, “Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm.” 

Rev. King the self-acclaimed “god” and “Jesus of our time” was arrested and charged to court for using a girl for human barbecue. And the 69-year-old grief stricken father of the victim lamented that he went to the church to see his daughter, and followers of Rev. King denied knowing her. But one follower later told him that she was Rev. King’s wife and was in the hospital. Getting to the hospital, he found his daughter Anna Uzoh on the hospital bed roasted. After a long inquiry, she revealed that Rev. King set her on fire. And Rev. King’s followers said, “Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm.” Apparently, Justice Joseph Oyewole of the Ikeja High Court thought otherwise and sentenced Rev. King to death. 

It was in the news sometime ago how a man stole money and confessed to giving it as offering to a church. When asked, the pastor said the money was given to God and can’t be returned. Things like this can only happen in a society like Nigeria. 

Pastors should be judged by their words as well as their actions. This is a country where a pastor organises a healing crusade for his members but jets off to the United Kingdom the next morning for a medical check-up. In Nigeria, pastors pray and ask God to protect their members but employ the services of bodyguards. It won’t be a surprise when Nigerian churches get enlisted in the Nigerian Stock Exchange for the public to buy shares. It is a fact that when you scare people badly enough, you can get them to do anything. I wasn’t surprised to hear that a South African pastor ordered his congregation to eat grass, that it would bring them closer to God and of course, the members obeyed and ate to their fill. We heard of how a Kenyan pastor ordered all female members of his church to attend church services without bras and panties for Christ to enter their lives.  

My brothers and sisters in the Lord, do not be deceived by these pastors. Seek God’s face, pray and read the scriptures and ask for the Holy Spirit’s guidance and interpretation. The Bible says you should study to show yourself approved. As I end this article, my prayer is that rapture takes place on a Sunday during first service so that all fake pastors will be caught pants down. Amen''.

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