When husband and wife practise different religions!

THE issue of religion in a relationship is a major one. In the African context, we see parents insisting on their children getting married to a man or woman who practises the same religion or have the same faith. We also see parents who are only concerned about the family background, occupation and sincerity of the heart of their children’s life partners. These set of parents claim they are interested in their children’s happiness and peace of mind in marriage.

However today, when one xrays people’s opinion about married partners sharing the same religion or different religion, the reasons are varied and so diverse that you begin to wonder if people ever consider love, trust, communication, honesty or even commitment above other things when choosing a life partner. The issue of religious differences has broken so many relationships and courtships of many years,thus, bringing sorrow and hatred into many lives.In exploring this issue of husband and wife practising different religions, Oluwakemi Aremu sought people’s opinion . Excerpts:

Olatunji Owolabi, Chartered Accountant: Husband and wife in a perfect marriage are one. Thus, no religion should separate them.

Ibiwoye Olasunkanmi, lecturer: I believe that the success of any marital relationship is based on having similar value systems and not religious beliefs. If both partners are tolerant, supportive and understand each other’s beliefs, it will be easy to practise a different faith from their spouse’s and still live harmoniously. People who share the same religious beliefs or are practising the same religion still get divorced. Therefore, check your values and attitude to life.

Ayeni Oluwafemi, student: Religion is an act of worship. It includes the existence and total belief in a supernatural being.

Marriage on the other hand is instituted for a man and woman to become one by a supernatural being, be it God, god, or deities. This issue of practising the same religion by couples depends on mutual agreement between them. Culture is also respected here because the man is the head, he decides on what and how his family will look like. The religion the man chooses should be the woman’s preference. Though it can create unity in cultural diversity, but in the real sense, the conflict and crises happening globally is caused by religious intolerance. I totally disagree that husband and wife should practise different religions.

Eseigbe Angela, businesswoman: The key issue which people seem to ignore is the fact that it is the woman who does most of the training and grooming of the children. She teaches them how to pray and instil value in them. How well will a woman play this role if she gets married to a man of a faith different from hers? People should know that marriage is not just about the man and woman. It is a marriage of two families and the foundation of several generations to come. The ‘love birds’ will eventually become parents and their home will become the first learning institution and agent of socialisation for each child. What kind of orientation do children in inter-faith marriages have? Whose faith should they be introduced to: mum’s or dad’s?

Tunde Adegboye, engineer: I can tell you categorically that it is not the best for couples to practise different religions. Personally, I cannot allow my wife to go to another church, let alone of practising another religion. Normally, children are named according to the religion their parents practise and in some cases, children will not even know the one they are to call their own probably, they attend both the Quranic School and at the same time church.

Faith Omeonu, National Youth Service Corps member: Let us face facts; the problems of inter faith marriage dates long before the marriage institution. The couple must consider several issues: How do we convince our families to accept the union? Under what faith should we conduct the marriage ceremony? Should we agree on one faith or do we continue in our separate faiths? What faith should we introduce to our children? The questions are endless. Personally, I don’t think it is advisable. The home could be broken in the process. I can’t marry a man who practises another religion from mine; Our union won’t be successful.

Aderibigbe Yusuf, self-employed: Yes, husband and wife can practise different religions as long as the understanding and fate that brought them together are intact and the woman is performing her duties as a wife in the house while the husband is equally up to the task. Also, a Yoruba adage says O jise kan, ko gbodo di ojise kan lowo meaning you must not disturb your fellow human being. A very good example is Mr Babatunde Fashola, Governor of Lagos State who is a Muslim while the wife is a Christian and they are living happily. So also is a family friend whom I know very well, the husband is a Muslim while the wife happens to be a Christian. The children go to church with their mother and the father is in support of this. They are living together happily.

Omotosho Abisola, educationist: There is nothing good in practising different religions as couples.The way they will reason will be different and definitely crises in such a marriage cannot be ruled out. Moreover, what exactly are you impacting in your children? Where should they go? Is it to follow mummy or daddy? Before parents know it, the children will no longer share the love they used to share together because what they believe in is different. There is likely to be argument on some issues which could lead to hatred.

Femi Fatogun, National Youth Service Corps member: It depends on the background of the couple. Don’t forget that couples are brought up in different backgrounds. The children also have the right at a certain stage/age of their lives to choose whatever religion they wish to practise; so it shouldn’t affect the home.

Ayo Damilola, corps member: Marriage is all about sharing the same values, belief, religion and so on. If at all there is going to be a difference, it shouldn’t be on the issue of religion because it can lead to separation.

Efedhoma Kate, counsellor: In my many years of practice as a relationship expert, I’ve come to realise that in most cases if not all, what drives couples apart are basically the basic differences on s*x related issues, financial issues and how they deal with them. So also is the third party that is forever trying to come between the partners. The third party may be as far from them as friends and relatives and as close as the children in the union. Difference in religion shoudn’t be a barrier, love supersedes all.

Aremu Damilola, student: I don’t think so because when two people with different beliefs get married, they will have different orientations, thus bringing about dispute and it can eventually break their home.

Ebube Nwoko, self-employed: The basis for marrying my wife is that we have the same faith. I can’t marry a woman who doesn’t practise my religion.

Abdulrahman Elere, public administrator: Don’t let us deceive ourselves, there would be problem on the long run, irrespective of how they try to cover-up. The best way to avoid this is for both partners to practise the same religion and have the same faith.

Adebayo Matthew, student: It is a matter of choice, whether couples are practising different or the same religion, love supersedes all.

Samsudeen Salawu: Yes, they can. Practising different religions should not be a big deal if there is true love between lovers.

Alhaji Jelili Lawal: God forbid! It is not right at all. I can’t even imagine myself getting married to a woman who doesn’t practise my religion. I will be going to mosque while my wife goes to the church. Definitely, our children’s belief will be affected, it’s never done. The answer is capital NO!

Read More...

Christianity has killed our Culture

His Royal Highness Eze I.O Asor, Udi 1 of Obudi Agwa in Oguta Local Government Area Imo State is a culture enthusiasts and one who believes in the protection of culture. But thirteen years after he took over as the chief custodian of his peoples culture, many thought that by now every aspect of the culture would have been revived.

But a look at the events around his domain shows that it is not so. What is responsible for that and why has he failed to use his good office to redeem that. In this chat with Sunday Vanguard Art, the worried ruler bares his mind on a wide range of issues. Excerpts.

Can we meet you?

I am His Royal Highness Eze I.O Asor, Udi 1 of Obudi Agwa in Oguta Local Government Area Imo State. By the grace of God, I was the immediate past chairman of (TROPCON) Traditional Rulers of Oil Producing Communities of Nigeria and currently, I am the Chairman of Oguta Local Government Area council of Traditional Rulers.

By the special grace of God, this is my 13th year on the throne.

How have you used your position as the Chairman of Oguta Local Government Area council of traditional rulers to bring the traditional rulers together?

While, with this new government of H/E Rochas Okorocha, we are still trying to put things in order because the former government spoiled many things. The current government of Okorocha is trying to harmonize things. And on our part we want to fashion out a system to suit his rescue agenda.

For instance, before his emergence, Imo state was the den of kidnappers, hired assassins and all kinds of vices that went unchecked. To restore security and revive confidence in the citizenry is not a day job. The present government is really fighting hard to see that security and confidence are restored.

In fact, that is our utmost pursuit even as traditional rulers for now. We want to make sure that whoever comes back to Imo State will be free to visit anywhere unmolested.

Traditional rulers are the custodians of culture, having spent 13 years in office, how have you been able to project the culture of the community?

I am one of the apostles that condemn this idea of western culture trying to over ride or take over our own tradition by putting churches here and there. But sadly, we are now living on a borrowed culture and if you come to my domain now for example, those who call themselves Christians have dominated the whole places.

If you do one thing, they say it is forbidden, you do another, they say another, so you don’t know what to do again. Unlike in those days when our tradition/culture have precedence above all other culture, people had respect for it.

They worshiped, adored and obeyed the culture, but now it is no more. And if you want to fight this development,the so called church people will kick against you. For instance, in those days and in the Bible, as a traditional ruler, your community will provide you with what to eat, what you drink, the car you ride but now it is not so again , instead of doing these for traditional rulers, they do it for their Reverend Fathers or their Pastors.

They contribute yam, garri, egg, money and buy cars for them instead of their traditional rulers who carry the problems of the community.

How do you intend to challenge all of these ?

Like I said earlier, the dominance of all these churches has caused a serious blow to our customs/culture and I don’t see how it can be corrected. For instance in Imo State, we have over 600 autonomous communities and that means 600 traditional rulers unlike in the North where you have 1 or 2 traditional rulers for a local government.

In some cases, one traditional ruler controls two local government areas and his word is law but in the East they have succeeded in bastardizing the autonomous communities through the divide and rule system. If government enacts a law that is not good and you kick against it, another traditional ruler will say no problem and accept it so we are handicapped.

But despite Christianity’s interference, there are still some of these cultures that beg for attention like New Yam festival (Iri ji) and masquerade. What are you doing about them?

The New Yam festival in Agwa is now done in the churches. In the past for instance, next month when they will start clearing farm lands preparatory for farming season, the first thing to do will be the Fejioku sacrifice (Itu aja oru) a sacrifice that makes the farmers to have a bountiful harvest.

But now if you ask the elders to perform that, they will tell you that they will go to the Reverend Father to pray. This is so because majority of the community are church goers so they kick against the practice. The churches have virtually taken over the customs.

For example, title taking, ‘Ichi Ozo’ or ‘Ikpu nze’ in the community are no longer done. If you call them for that, they say such things are fetish but what is fetish about them?

Would you say that it is as a result of this cultural neglect that the communities are having low production every year?

I will say yes because if anybody tells you that our great grandfathers are dead and are not working, the person is a liar. Even though they are not living, they are working so they are not happy. They are no longer getting the usual cocks, drinks, cola, etc

These people that claim that they are Christians, when they see non Christians they say that they are infidels where as, they are the ones that commit all the crimes in society today. For example, all these armed robbers, kidnappers you hear about are all Christians: they are James, John, Micheal where as these traditionalist hardly do those things because they know their ancestors are watching over them.

Read More...

Mob kills 2, burns mosques in Adamawa village

A mob killed two people and burnt mosques and homes in an overnight raid on a mainly Muslim village in Adamawa state in the latest such violence residents said Friday.

“It was around 11:30 pm (2230 GMT) when a crowd from Imbur attacked Gwalam village, setting fire on homes and mosques,” resident Abubakar Hussaini said, with Imbur a largely Christian area and Gwalam mainly Muslim.

“So far, we have two deaths, and we still don’t know the fate of some residents who fled into the bush to escape the attack.”

The attack occurred in Adamawa state, which is to hold a governorship election on January 21.

Such ethnic and religious violence often occurs around election periods in Nigeria, though some residents believed the attack was in retaliation for the recent killings of Christians in the state claimed by Islamist group Boko Haram.

Gamo Jika, an official in the state for one of Nigeria’s main Islamic organisation, Jama’atu Nasri Islam, confirmed two were killed.

“We have two dead from the attack on Gwalam by some Christians. We are taking inventory of houses burnt in the attack,” he said.

Adamawa state police spokeswoman Altine Daniel confirmed the attack but gave no details.

Imbur and Gwalam villages are located in Numan, a flashpoint of sectarian violence.

Nigeria has seen spiralling violence mostly blamed on Boko Haram, whose recent attacks targeting Christians have sparked fears of a civil conflict in a country roughly divided between a mainly Muslim north and mostly Christian south.

Read More...

Biafra liberation council give northerners seven day to leave the south

A group known as the Biafra Liberation Council has given northerners and Muslims in the southern part of country a seven-day ultimatum to leave the area or be ready to be victims of reprisals.

The group, in a statement on Sunday, also called on Igbo in the northern part of the country to vacate the area and relocate to any place outside the North.

The statement by the spokesman for the group, Amaechi Nwaofia, expressed the group’s sadness over the killing of Igbo in some parts of the North by Muslim fundamentalists despite the assurance by the Federal Government to protect non-Moslems and southerners in the region.

It noted that rather than encouraging the southerners to leave the northern part of the country, the government, which had been protecting the Muslims from reprisals, deceived the southerners to continue to stay in the North.

The group recalled that the National Security Adviser to President Goodluck Jonathan, General Owoye Azazi, had urged southerners residing in the North to disregard the warning by members of the Boko Haram sect to leave the North.

It noted that between January 4 to January 7, 2012, over 50 southerners had been killed in different parts of the North by Moslem fundamentalists

Read More...

Nigeria heading for civil war

Nobel laureate Prof Wole Soyinka warned on Tuesday that his country was heading towards a civil war, blaming political leaders who spread religious intolerance.

Asked whether he agreed with President Goodluck Jonathan that the current unrest was worse than the 1960s civil war, he told the BBC World Service: “It’s not an unrealistic comparison — it’s certainly based on many similarities.

Prof Wole Soyinka

“We see the nation heading towards a civil war.”

Soyinka was also asked whether the unrest threatened the state of Nigeria itself, and replied: “It is going that way. We no longer can pretend it’s not.

“When you’ve got a situation where a bunch of people can go into a place of worship and open fire through the windows, you’ve reached a certain dismal watershed in the life of that nation.”

Soyinka said the issues raised by Islamist group Boko Haram, which was blamed for violence targeting Christians in the north of Nigeria and has sparked fears of a wider religious conflict, had been brewing for some time.

“There are people in power in certain parts of the country, leaders, who quite genuinely and authoritatively hate and cannot tolerate any religion outside their own,” he said.

“When you combine that with the ambitions of a number of people who believe they are divinely endowed to rule the country and who… believe that their religion is above whatever else binds the entire nation together, and somehow the power appears to slip from their hands, then they resort to the most extreme measures.

“Youths who have been indoctrinated right from infancy can be used, and who have been used, again and again to create mayhem in the country.”

He added: “Those who have created this faceless army have lost control.”

Soyinka, a dramatist and essayist, became Africa’s first Nobel laureate in literature when he won the prize in 1986.

Read More...

Photo of the day: Once again, Christians on guard as Muslims pray

Once again, Christian protesters watch over their Muslims brothers as they pray this afternoon in Abuja, during the #OccupyNigeria protest in the city.

Read More...

The killing of christians will continue,Sultan and Islamic Clerics Cant Speak For Us - Boko Haram

IMAM Abu Muhammad Shekau, the leader of the Jama’atu Ahlis Sunnati Lidda’awati Wal Jihad, also known as Boko, yesterday said Muslim clerics under the umbrella of the Jama’atu Nasril Islam (JNI) and the Nigeria Supreme Council for Islamic Affairs (NSCIA) are not competent to speak on behalf of the Nigerian Muslims.

Shekau in a statement which was made available to newsmen yesterday wondered why the clerics and Muslim leaders will speak when Christians were attacked on Christmas day but refused to take similar action when many Muslims were surrounded and killed in a mosque in Jos during Sallah celebration in September 2011.

Shekau said the Muslim leaders “are on their own” adding that the condemnation of the Christmas blasts does not represent the true feeling of Nigerian Muslims.

The statement, which was signed by the spokesman of the group, Abul Qaqa, equally condemned the disposition of western societies for condemning the Christmas Day attack on Christians and security agencies across Northern Nigeria.

According to Shekau, “Indeed, we are responsible for the Christmas Day bombings and killings. In fact, there is no doubt about it. We would continue launching attacks on non Muslims and security agents in order to avenge the massacre of our fellow Muslims.

“The Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) and various governments are well aware of all the atrocities being committed against Muslims in various parts of the country for a very long period of time but refused to take action,” Shekau said.

“We would never forget the killings of our brothers in Zangon Kataf, Kafanchan, Kaduna, Zonkwa, Langtan, Yelwan Shendam, Tafawa Balewa, Numan, Shagamu and Ikoyi.

“Most painful was the inhuman treatment of Muslim worshippers in 2011 (1432) in Jos, where some Christians killed and feasted on the flesh of Muslims in the watchful eyes of security agents. Video clips of the atrocities are everywhere but nobody is ready to talk about it,” he said.

Shekau said his group will never listen to the callings of the Sultan of Sokoto or any other person. “We would never let go until we avenge the killings of our brothers,” he said.

He added that, “We are following the commandments of Allah and the teachings of Prophet Mohammad. God has stated in Chapter 2 verse 194 of the Holy Qur’an that ‘whoever attacks you, you must attack him. Let them find out the meaning of the verse.’

He also asked the clerics and Muslim leaders to explain where they were when many Muslims were being killed and what measures they took to address the plights of Muslims.

Read More...

Muslim Cleric Bans Women From Touching Banana Because It Looks Like Penis

Media reports are circulating that an unidentified Muslim cleric in Europe issued a ban on women touching fruits and vegetables such as bananas, cucumbers, carrots and zucchinis because they “resemble the male penis.”

According to the Egyptian news website Bikya Masr, the cleric, whose diktat was featured in an article on a religion website, el -Senousa said that “if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their father or husband should cut the items into small pieces and serve” it to them.

According to the Times of India, liberal Muslims are fairly enraged and embarrassed by the reports.

As TOI points out, “repression of women in ultra-conservative Islamic societies has been an intense subject of debate throughout the world.”

The cleric’s alleged words come after a “scholarly” report by the Majlis al-Ifta al-Aala, Saudi Arabia’s highest Islamic council, warned that if women in Saudi Arabia were allowed to drive, there would be no more virgins in the country because driving may lead to a “surge in prostitution, pornography, homos*xuality and divorce.”

Read More...