Please make sure you post this asap for todaysgists readers, I need a feed back NOW! Here's my story:I've been with Haruna for about a yr plus now and we love each other very much. We met at a time when I was just recovering from an abusive, bitter relationship, and I never thought I could love again. I'm no longer a kid, I'm 29 years old.
To fully understand where I'm coming from, let me give you a background of my last relationship before Haruna. I dated my ex Ahmed for 3 years. 3 years full of torment, anguish of low self esteem. I'm sure you're wondering about the muslim names by now...lool. Well, I'm the first girl in a muslim family, and my parents will disown me if I married a non-muslim...not that I've ever had any issues with them, because all the 3 guys I've dated were muslims.
Please continue...
So as I was saying about Ahmed...even thinking about my experience with him still gives me goose bumps. He changed me from a bubbling, happy go lucky girl to a compulsory scarf wearing introvert.
Even though I lived with my parents, he made my life hell. I didn't have problems with covering my head all the time, but it was the beating at the slightest provocation, insults and all that was just crazy...and I withstood this for 3 years, because I thought I loved him and he always promised to change. And also there were gifts. Ahmed was from a very rich, connected family. He showered me with outrageous gifts(gifts I couldn't even display before the public because he hated me going out and monitored my movements), and got me my last job. Of cos when I told my parents what I had been facing after the last beating episode, we broke up and I lost my job. I haven't gotten a good one ever since.
1 month after Ahmed, I met Haruna on my way back from Dubai at the airport. Our flight was delayed and somehow we got talking, I liked him almost immediately though I had no room for dating in my heart cos of where I was coming from at that time. After loosing my job(I read bizad in Lasu), my parents gave me money to start selling stuff pending the time I got a good paying job. Jobs are coming but the pay was very discouraging; till date I'm still doing the buying and selling business.
Any ways, me and Haruna exchanged numbers and he started calling me. He understood that I needed time to heal and didn't ask me out immediately. He was ok with been my friend for a while... all that is history now because today he is my fiance.
Financially, Haruna is very ok. He is from an average Hausa family and his family resides in Abuja. they are not as rich as Ahmed, but quite comfortable. He handles his fathers generator supply business in Lagos. Since I started dating Haruna, he has tried to give me a job in his father's company, but I refused. After Ahmed, I didn't want history to repeat it self so I just kept doing my dubai business, and I'm trying to expand. Haruna proposed on Vals day and I accepted... happily. He wants to get married in June, and there in lies the problem.
Yes age is not by my side, but I want my business to grow a bit...make a little more money to support Haruna and our kids, give them the best of everything. My experience with Ahmed has taught me the importance of been financially independent, and I'm just gradually putting things in place. I thought it out carefully and thought that this time next year wont be a bad time...
I will be more ready, my business better, and can even contribute a bit to our family. Haruna thinks I'm ridiculous because he can afford to do it all alone and give me all that I ever want even If I dont work or do business...He insists on marriage by end of 2nd quarter of this year.
I'm I really been ridiculous? Is it bad for me to want to support him and our parents with our wedding expenses...why cant he just give me a little more time??? I love him very much and that's why I wrote you Moji to ask your blog people. I read comments people wrote last December about the girl who refused to follow her bf to the village, and I learnt from it. So now, I hope they can advice me too. I am ardent MDB reader.
Thanks.
Rashidat O.
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